The Pop Culture Petri Dish

ABC is Every Woman

2008-01-26T01:53:00.000-08:00

The FCC is fining ABC for an NYPD Blue episode that showed a woman's nude butt. Not sure why this particular incident is fine-worthy compared to the many other butt shots on the series over the years, but here's an unintentionally (I think) hilarious quote from the AP article:

The agency said the show was indecent because "it depicts sexual organs and excretory organs specifically an adult woman's buttocks."

The agency rejected the network's argument that "the buttocks are not a sexual organ."

Oh, FCC. You so dirty.

Stereotypo

2007-09-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

Am I being overly sensitive, or is this MSNBC chyron a little racist?

They also misspelled "low"

For the record, Sen. Obama actually said, "We have set the bar so low that the modest improvement in what was a completely chaotic situation ... is seen as progress, when it's not."

Eanh, I'm probably just being overly sensitive. It's not as glaring a typo as this one.

If I Picked The Emmy Nominations 2007

2007-07-19T03:47:00.000-07:00

I won't go into any detail this year. But as always, television is great. So much great work that deserves to be rewarded. To see last year's picks for Comedy and Drama, click the links.

Now on with this year's best of the best:

Best Comedy Series

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
The Office
Scrubs
30 Rock
Weeds

Runners-Up: Andy Barker, P.I., Campus Ladies, How I Met Your Mother, My Name Is Earl, Ugly Betty

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Desperate Housewives, Entourage, Everybody Hates Chris, Extras, Help Me Help You, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Notes From the Underbelly

Best Actress in a Comedy

Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds

Runners-Up: Carrie Alzley (Campus Ladies), Tichina Arnold (Everybody Hates Chris), Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives), Sarah Silverman (The Sarah Silverman Program), Christen Sursin (Campus Ladies)

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives), Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives)

Best Actor in a Comedy

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Zach Braff, Scrubs
Steve Carell, The Office
Jason Lee, My Name Is Earl
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock

Runners-Up: Ricky Gervais (Extras), Thomas Lennon (Reno 911!), Josh Radnor (How I Met Your Mother), Andy Richter (Andy Barker, P.I.), Tony Shalhoub (Monk)

Runner-Up to the Runners-Up: Tyler James Williams (Everybody Hates Chris)

Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy

Jenna Fischer, The Office
Mindy Kaling, The Office
Angela Kinsey, The Office
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds
Jamie Pressly, My Name Is Earl

Runners-Up: Melora Hardin (The Office), Ashley Jensen (Extras), Clea Lewis (Andy Barker, P.I.), Becki Newton (Ugly Betty), Kaitlin Olson (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Sarah Chalke (Scrubs), Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother), Rachael Harris (Notes From the Underbelly), Judy Reyes (Scrubs), Nicollette Sheridan (Desperate Housewives), Phyllis Smith (The Office), Vanessa Williams (Ugly Betty)

Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy

Justin Kirk, Weeds
John Krasinski, The Office
Stephen Merchant, Extras
Michael Urie, Ugly Betty
Rainn Wilson, The Office

Runners-Up: Harve Presnell (Andy Barker, P.I.), Jeremy Piven (Entourage), Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother), Paul Lieberstein (The Office), Jack McBrayer (30 Rock)

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Terry Crews (Everybody Hates Chris), Charlie Day (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Donald Faison (Scrubs), Neil Flynn (Scrubs), Dule Hill (Psych), Glenn Howerton (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Hamish Linklater (The New Adventures of Old Christine), Romany Malco (Weeds), Rob McElhenney (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia), John C. McGinley (Scrubs), Eddie Steeples (My Name Is Earl)

Drama Series

Friday Night Lights
Lost
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Veronica Mars
The Wire

Runners-Up: Dexter, Heroes, The Nine, Rescue Me, The Shield

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Brothers & Sisters, Dirt, Gilmore Girls, Grey’s Anatomy, House, Nip/Tuck, The O.C., The Riches, The Sopranos, 24

Best Actress in a Drama

Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Minnie Driver, The Riches
Calista Flockhart, Brothers & Sisters
Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls

Runners-Up: Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls), Courtney Cox (Dirt), Edie Falco (The Sopranos), Sally Field (Brothers & Sisters), Evangeline Lilly (Lost)

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Ellen Pompeo (Grey’s Anatomy), Joely Richardson (Nip/Tuck)

Best Actor in a Drama

Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
James Gandolfini, The Sopranos
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Hugh Laurie, House
Michael K. Williams, The Wire

Runners-Up: Enrico Colontoni (Veronica Mars), Julian McMahon (Nip/Tuck), Matthew Perry (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip), Kiefer Sutherland (24), Bradley Whitford (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip)

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Michael Chiklis (The Shield), Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy), Matthew Fox (Lost), Eddie Izzard (The Riches), Denis Leary (Rescue Me), Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck)

Best Supporting Actress in a Drama

Lisa Edelstein, House
Katherine Heigl, Grey’s Anatomy
Adrianne Palicki, Friday Night Lights
Sarah Paulson, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Amanda Peet, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Runners-Up: Sandra Oh (Grey’s Anatomy), Sara Ramirez (Grey’s Anatomy), Patricia Wettig (Brothers & Sisters), Chandra Wilson (Grey’s Anatomy), Shannon Woodward (The Riches)

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Yunjin Kim (Lost), Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost), Mary Lynn Rajskub (24), Kim Raver (The Nine), Aimee Teegarden (Friday Night Lights), Emily VanCamp (Brothers & Sisters), Kate Walsh (Grey’s Anatomy)

Best Supporting Actor in a Drama

Zach Gilford, Friday Night Lights
Dave Annable, Brothers & Sisters
John Scurti, Rescue Me
Steven Weber, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Andre Royo, The Wire

Runners-Up: Jack Coleman (Heroes), Michael Emerson (Lost), T. R. Knight (Grey’s Anatomy), Rob Lowe (Brothers & Sisters), Frank Vincent (The Sopranos)

Runners-Up to the Runners-Up: Timothy Busfield (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip), Francis Capra (Veronica Mars), Dominic Chianese (The Sopranos), Jason Dohring (Veronica Mars), Jorge Garcia (Lost), Edward Herrmann (Gilmore Girls), Josh Holloway (Lost), Michael Imperioli (The Sopranos), Chi McBride (The Nine), Masi Oka (Heroes), Terry O’Quinn (Lost), Scott Patterson (Gilmore Girls), Jesse Plemons (Friday Night Lights), Scott Porter (Friday Night Lights), Matthew Rhys (Brothers & Sisters), Jim True-Frost (The Wire), Everybody else on The Wire

A Crash-mas Story

2007-04-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Second Annual Crash Day!

Unlike last year, there were no official mayoral ceremonies to mark the occasion. However, there were two notable crashes in Los Angeles today, both literal and metaphorical.

As the old Crash Day saying goes - If a director of quintessential 80s movies is crashed into by an Hispanic driver, we're due for six more weeks of racial intolerance (it certainly doesn't mean we're due for six more weeks of Paul Haggis-produced television).

Only one of these filmmakers ever won an Oscar

The Last Samurai Virgin

2007-02-11T23:08:00.000-08:00

What do you think of when you see this photograph of Ken Watanabe from The New York Times (courtesy of The Hot Blog)?

Because all I can think of is this:

Which got me wondering what it would look like if they'd gone in a different direction:

Stand By Your Cameraman

2007-01-20T13:48:00.000-08:00

The most shocking thing about Hillary Clinton's announcement this morning is how poorly produced her "I'm In" video is. The camera never stops panning back and forth for no reason, as though the cameraman is subliminally shaking his head at her run for the presidency. It's like an episode of Friday Night Lights!

Because I really do like Senator Clinton, I'll refrain from making the obvious Blair Witch Project analogy

While kittens and children with ADD may appreciate the visual stimulation, I got motion sickness and couldn't focus on a single word she said. Not a greak kick-off to her campaign. Maybe she could've borrowed Barack Obama's tripod.

Golden Girls

2007-01-13T03:08:00.000-08:00

Charlie's Angels 3?

In their cover story this week, Entertainment Weekly is happy to point out the Academy Awards' ageism when it comes to the Best Actress award. Yet, before this issue, with "The Silver Foxes" on the cover (Meryl Streep (57), Helen Mirren (61) and Judi Dench (72)), when was the last time the magazine put a woman over 50 on its cover? Or over 45?

In the last three years, three women older than 45 have graced the cover - though all three appeared as part of the cast of a television show with younger and/or male co-stars: Mary McDonnell (54), Lorraine Bracco (51) and Patricia Heaton (47). Before Bracco, the last cover girl over 50 was... Meryl Streep (54 at the time), who had to share the spotlight with Al Pacino.

In that time, the oldest women to get a solo cover were Marcia Cross and Felicity Huffman (both 42 at the time), though each had to settle for being one of five collectible Desperate Housewives covers that week. The oldest woman to own a cover outright? Halle Berry, at 37.

Meanwhile, just in the past year, old fogeys like Mel Gibson (50), Clint Eastwood (76), Hugh Laurie (47), Samuel L. Jackson (57), Al Gore (58), Tom Hanks (49) and Howard Stern (52) have had solo shots on the cover. And that's not including gentlemen like Randy Jackson (50), Simon Cowell (47), Tim Gunn (53) and Terry O'Quinn (53) who shared covers.

Granted, Entertainment Weekly's cover selections are reflecting the general ageism/sexism double standard of Hollywood and society as a whole. But perhaps they should at least acknowledge that they're part of the problem.

Unfortunate Ink Shortage at Automated Box Office

2006-12-26T02:56:00.000-08:00

And I'm telling you, I wasn't going to see this

Meow!

2006-12-23T13:18:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to figure out what the Google ads were trying to tell me when I looked up "Caterwauling" on The Free Dictionary:

The modern-day equivalent of finding one's picture next to a word in the dictionary?

Perhaps they were getting a lot of hits from journalists looking for a word to describe Miss Simpson's performance at the Kennedy Center Honors.

Top Ten Best 2006 Campaign Ads Ever

2006-11-07T12:23:00.000-08:00

1. "The Wrong Kind"
2. "I'm Confused"
3. "Bad Call"
4. "Harold, Call Me"
5. "Count on Me"
6. "Jesus Hates Stem Cells"
7. "The Politicos"
8. "The Twilight Zone"
9. "A Record We Can Be Proud Of"
10. "Congressman, Call Me"

Heart and Soul Plane

2006-11-04T01:03:00.000-08:00

You know, for somebody who has nothing but contempt for Hollywood and the people who live and work here*, President Bush sure likes to rip off our movies' soundtracks:

For Bush's final campaign swing, Rove tapped powerful presidential symbols. Bush's arrival for a Thursday rally at the airport in Elko, Nev., was choreographed so the crowd on the tarmac cheered as Air Force One swooped out of the sky to heroic theme music from the movie "Top Gun." When the familiar blue-and-white Boeing 747-200B rolled right up to the rally, the loudspeakers switched to the soundtrack from the film "Air Force One." All that was missing was Harrison Ford.

By the way, does anybody even recognize the score from Air Force One?

And speaking of hypocrites, I wonder if the recent allegations about Rev. Ted Haggard will prompt Magnolia to try to relaunch Jesus Camp, as Rev. Haggard has an extended cameo in the documentary. Though there was a lot of buzz when the film was released in September, its box office has stalled out at less than a million dollars and it never went wider than 52 theaters. This is a movie that everyone should see before Tuesday, if only to be informed of what is going on in this country below the mainstream radar.

Well, it turns out Magnolia has already seized the moment by leaking a brief clip of Rev. Haggard's appearance from the film (there's more of him in the movie than these 42 seconds, and it gets a lot creepier) on YouTube:

*I'm specifically referencing, as I have before, President Bush's 2004 stump speech, where he often led off with something along the lines of:

But it is great to be in a place where people work hard and make a living off the land, raise their families. It's what I call the heart and soul of the country. (Applause.) The other folks believe the heart and soul can be found in Hollywood. I think it's found right here in [insert pandering to state he's in]. (Applause.)

On a personal level, this infuriated me, and I've never forgotten, nor forgiven, it. This wasn't some botched joke. It was a lame, yet deliberate joke and its meaning can't be misinterpreted. But nobody ever called him on the fact that he essentially claimed that everyone in this town is heartless and soulless. Yes, there may be a lot of heartless, soulless people here in Hollywood, but there are heartless and soulless people everywhere (if I'm not mistaken, Enron was based out of the president's hometown of Houston). And there are plenty of good, decent people here in Hollywood as well. People like Patricia Heaton and ~~Jesus Christ~~ Jim Caviezel.

Previously, on The Dish: Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs, Maybe, But Still No Heart and Soul, Giving is its own Award, BUSH DECLARES WAR ON POP CULTURE!

Jumping the Gunn

2006-10-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

ACHTUNG: Verderberalarmbereitschaft!
(WARNING: Spoiler Alert!)

I warn because my TiVo did not. At least I think it might be a spoiler. I won't know for sure until next week's Project Runway. But last night's episode ended with a cliffhanger: Would Jeffrey Sebelia be disqualified for allegedly cheating?

Or it would've been a cliffhanger if I hadn't noticed the title of the episode before I hit delete on my TiVo: "The final three contestants."

Arbeit macht drei...

On the show's official website, the episode is simply titled "Finale, Part 1." But TiVo wasn't the only listing to mention a "final three," despite the fact that as of the conclusion of the episode, there were still four contestants. Google's cached page of Zap2it's TV listing (retrieved on October 5) offers this description: "The final three contestants prepare to show their collections at New York Fashion Week."

...Oder drei machen es arbeitet

However, now Zap2it's description simply says "The final contestants prepare to show their collections at New York Fashion Week."

It's possible that this description was written before Project Runway revealed the twist that this season would feature a final four instead of a final three, however, that twist was revealed two weeks ago on the September 27th episode. And TiVo doesn't even put out schedule information more than two weeks in advance.

We'll have to wait until next week to see if this was really a spoiler.

America, Buch Yeah!

2006-10-10T01:51:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, I heard Wolf Blitzer introduce commentator Bay Buchanan as being from Team America. Though she does look a bit like a marionette, I didn't remember her being in Team America: World Police, so I thought I'd heard wrong.

Bay Buchanan, left; Lisa, right

Turns out, I heard right. Buchanan (sister of Pat), is the chairman of Team America, "A Political Action Committe Dedicated To Securing Our Nation's Border." Is that name a joke?

It was probably just coincidence, since the PAC was founded in 2004 - the same year Team America the movie premiered. And who founded Team America: Border Police?

None other than Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo, whose district includes Conifer and Littleton - former homes to Trey Parker and Matt Stone, respectively. In addition, his district was gerrymandered to narrowly exclude Fairplay, Colorado - the inspiration for the town of South Park.

Still, how can anybody take a PAC named Team America seriously? Then again, after browsing through their website, the name may be the least of their problems in that department.

Previously, on The Dish: Unexpected Plug of the Night, Here They Come to Save the Day

Acropolis Now

2006-09-18T13:18:00.000-07:00

The ever-reliable IMDb news reports that Nia Vardalos will be shooting her next cinematic atrocity at the Acropolis:

For the first time in 2,500 years, the Acropolis in Greece will become the setting for a movie.

Trivia Question: Does anybody remember the movie that was shot there 2,501 years ago that "ruined" it for everbody else?

Top Fifteen Best Shows to Air on The WB and/or UPN Ever

2006-09-17T16:37:00.000-07:00

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Angel
4. Dawson's Creek
5. Veronica Mars
6. Felicity
7. America's Next Top Model
8. Everybody Hates Chris
9. Pinky and the Brain
10. Zoe, Duncan, Jack & Jane
11. The Surreal Life
12. Beauty and the Geek
13. The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer
14. Amish in the City
15. Britney and Kevin: Chaotic
15½. Nobody’s Watching

Can't Spell "Emmy" without ME!

2006-08-27T02:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, coming three weeks early, the Emmys really snuck up on me this year. I still feel pretty clueless when it comes to predicting these awards, but I won't let that stop me from putting in my two cents:

Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series:
Will Win: Marc Buckland, My Name Is Earl, "Pilot"
Should Win: Marc Buckland, My Name Is Earl, "Pilot"
Potential Upset: Robert B. Weide, Curb Your Enthusiasm, "The Christ Nail"

Pilots do very well in the writing and directing categories. On top of that, Buckland did an excellent job of establishing Earl's unique tone and visual style, while guiding all the actors to narrowly walk the line between eccentric and cartoonish. He barely edged out the very deserving Michael Patrick King for my Should Win pick (though I'm still rooting for any recognition of The Comeback). I wouldn't count out Robert B. Weide, though. Curb Your Enthusiasm has been nominated in this category nine times in its last four seasons, with Weide winning once in 2003. Since the show is inelligible for writing honors, this is where the Academy likes to reward it. Curb is also the only Outstanding Comedy Series represented here. And depending on when voting took place, "The Christ Nail" may have provided a nice bit of Mel-mocking.

Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series:
Will Win: Alan Ball, Six Feet Under, "Everyone's Waiting"
Should Win: Alan Ball, Six Feet Under, "Everyone's Waiting"
Potential Upset: Jack Bender, Lost, "Live Together, Die Alone"

With seven nominees this year, this is one tough category to call (in the Will Win slot; Should Win's not even close). I feel pretty confident ruling out 24, though even that's not a sure thing. Big Love has the pilot thing going for it, but that's about it. The reigning champ, Lost, could get a consolation prize here after being snubbed in the Outstanding Drama Series category. Then there are the two dynasties with their very different track records. The Sopranos has lost all ten of its previous directing nominations (despite winning four Outstanding Writing awards in its first five seasons)... this year could make them 0 and 12. On the other hand, in the five previous years in which The West Wing was nominated, it won three. Mimi Leder has a gripping episode in "Election Day," though she could be hurt by it being Part 1 of a two-parter. Ultimately, I'm committing the cardinal sin of predicting the show I think deserves to win. But "Everyone's Waiting" was one of the most talked about (and praised) episodes of television this season and it seems that everyone who sees its emotionally-charged climax needs a box of Kleenex. This may also be the best place to honor a dearly departed Emmy favorite.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:
Will Win: Steve Carell, The Office
Should Win: ~~Jason Bateman, Arrested Development~~ ~~Jason Lee, My Name Is Earl~~ ~~Zach Braff, Scrubs~~ Steve Carell, The Office
Potential Upset: Tony Shalhoub, Monk

Winning in this category this year is a bit like winning in a boycotted Olympics, what with three of the best performances not nominated. That being said, it will be quite a shock if anyone other than Carell picks up a ~~Dundie~~ Emmy. Then again, Shalhoub has a much showier episode submitted (and it's twice as long).

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series:
Will Win: Denis Leary, Rescue Me
Should Win: Kiefer Sutherland, 24
Potential Upset: Martin Sheen, The West Wing

Winning in this category this year is a bit like winning in a boycotted Olympics, what with Hugh Laurie not nominated. That being said, I think Leary may win thanks to an emotionally-packed and sympathetic episode submission. I haven't watched much Law & Order: SVU, but from what I hear, Christopher Meloni may pull a huge upset thanks to his one showboat episode. Then again, never bet against the Emmys' love for The West Wing. It's Martin Sheen's final chance to win, and this time, James Gandolfini can't take it away from him.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:
Will Win: Jane Kaczmarek, Malcolm in the Middle
Should Win: Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback
Potential Upset: Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback

This is another tough one to call. It's a very tight three-way race between Kaczmarek, Kudrow and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, though I've learned to never bet against my arch-nemesis, Stockard Channing. I'm putting Louis-Dreyfus in third position only because she'll have another chance next year. Kudrow is incredible in The Comeback and an Emmy fave (for years, she was the only Friend nominated and she was the first to win), but The Comeback rubs a lot of people the wrong way. Kaczmarek has been nominated every year that Malcolm's been on, even when the show lost its buzz, and yet she's never won (unlike the other four nominees in this category, who've all won at least once). She finally has an episode this year that shows the softer side of Lois (though I wonder if she would've been better off submitting the series finale). The one thing that Kudrow and Louis-Dreyfus have over her is that they're the stars of their show (and in pretty much every scene) while Kaczmarek is part of an ensemble. Still...

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series:
Will Win: Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Should Win: Frances Conroy, Six Feet Under
Potential Upset: Allison Janney, The West Wing

I know I sound like a broken record, but this is another difficult race to call. Especially since I've never seen The Closer or Commander in Chief and haven't watched Law & Order: SVU in years. I think any of these five women could win. I'll give Sedgwick the edge just because her show had buzz and that buzz was all about her. Mariska Hargitay is said to have an Emmy-baiting episode like her co-star, Conroy is well-admired (the only Six Feet Under cast member to be nominated for each of its seasons) and was more sympathetic in the final episode and Geena Davis is a movie star. Then there's Janney, who has won before for episodes that showcased her skills much less. Like I said, any of them can win.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series:
Will Win: Bryan Cranston, Malcolm in the Middle
Should Win: Will Arnett, Arrested Development
Potential Upset: Jeremy Piven, Entourage

I see it as a two-way race between Cranston and Piven and I'm going way out on a limb to call it for Cranston. It's his final season, he's done consistently stellar work and his is by far the most likable character in this bunch (way more than Piven's). Yes, Piven has all the buzz, but my gut says to go with Cranston. I'll be absolutely thrilled if either he or Arnett wins.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series:
Will Win: Alan Alda, The West Wing
Should Win: Gregory Itzin, 24
Potential Upset: Gregory Itzin, 24

It's a toss-up between Alda and Itzin, but I'll give the edge to the Emmy veteran whose presidential candidate was far more likable than Itzin's more-buzzed about president.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series:
Will Win: Jamie Pressly, My Name Is Earl
Should Win: Jamie Pressly, My Name Is Earl
Potential Upset: Megan Mullally, Will & Grace

I don't know how anybody but Pressly could win, but then again, I don't know how Cheryl Hines and Alfre Woodard got nominated (nothing against them, they just didn't have much to do this year on their respective shows). Elizabeth Perkins could sneak in there for her biting performance, though it may be too biting. And even if it appears the Academy has finally fallen out of love with Will & Grace, I wouldn't be shocked by a Mullally win.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series:
Will Win: Jean Smart, 24
Should Win: Jean Smart, 24
Potential Upset: Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy

I wouldn't be upset if any of these women won, nor would I be shocked. But while Grey's was the buzz show this year, Oh's buzz came last year. This year, Smart was all the rage (literally), plus she's an Emmy favorite, she helped to make this the best year of 24 yet and she doesn't have a co-star to split her vote (though having voters see more of her episodes can't hurt Oh or Chandra Wilson). Also, without Stockard Channing in here, they've gotta give it to some First Lady.

Outstanding Comedy Series:
Will Win: The Office
Should Win: Arrested Development
Potential Upset: Two and a Half Men

Personally, it was a very tough call between The Office and Arrested Development in the Should Win category. If I were judging them purely based on the episodes and consistency from this season, I'd probably give a slight edge to The Office, but I just can't abandon Arrested Development (even if Fox and Mitchell Hurwitz can). The Office was definitely the hot comedy this year, and with good cause. The main reason I think there could be a Two and a Half Men upset is that I've heard anecdotal evidence that older people don't "get" The Office (and forget about Arrested Development, Scrubs and Curb Your Enthusiasm). Plus, the four single camera shows all have similar sensibilities and appeal, which could cancel each other out, leaving the much more traditional (and admittedly somewhat humorous) Two and a Half Men to anger elitists and TV critics everywhere.

Outstanding Drama Series:
Will Win: Grey's Anatomy
Should Win: 24
Potential Upset: 24

Grey's Anatomy and 24 both had highly buzzed about seasons. Grey's is the show that every woman seems to love while 24 is the show that no man can resist. In a time when many shows lost viewers, these two found more. Where Grey's pulls ahead is that it has sentimentality on its side. 24 suffers because voters only look at two episodes and if they haven't watched all 24, they may not get why this season was so great. Neither House nor The Sopranos has a shot, but never, ever count out The West Wing - especially when it had such a stellar final season, packed with great submission episodes.

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program:
Will Win: Project Runway
Should Win: Project Runway
Potential Upset: The Amazing Race

The Amazing Race is the only show to ever win in this category, but this year it has a more fierce foe than any it has ever faced: Its own Family Edition. On top of that, everybody loves Project Runway... even people like me who couldn't care less about fashion. The show has the most creative challenges, the best casting and Tim Gunn. How can it not win?

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series:
Will Win: Greg Garcia, My Name Is Earl, "Pilot"
Should Win: Chuck Tatham, Jim Vallely, Richard Day and Mitchell Hurwitz, Arrested Development, "Development Arrested"
Potential Upset: Michael Schur, The Office, "Christmas Party"

When in doubt, I go with the pilot. And I'm in a lot of doubt. Arrested Development has won in this category the past two years and could easily win again for tying up the show in style despite short notice and an uncertain future (though for those who didn't follow the series religiously, it could be quite baffling). "Christmas Party" was a great episode and demonstrated The Office's snappy writing. But when in doubt, I go with the pilot.

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series:
Will Win: Shonda Rhimes, Grey's Anatomy, "It's the End of the World" & "(As We Know It)"
Should Win: Alan Ball, Six Feet Under, "Everyone's Waiting"
Potential Upset: Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof, Lost, "The 23rd Psalm"

Another category where anybody can win. As I indicated above, The Sopranos has only lost (to another show, anyway) in this category once. However, I'd say "Members Only" is the weakest of this batch - only its final minute was really compelling. Personally, I'd have gone with "Join the Club." As with the Outstanding Directing category, Lost could get a consolation prize here as the Eko-centric "The 23rd Psalm" was truly one of the best episodes of the season. Then there's the Six Feet Under finale, which I've praised enough already (but not really). Finally, there are the two Grey's Anatomy episodes (actually, three if you count both parts of Rhimes' entry). In the Writing categories, I believe having multiple entries actually bodes well, rather than splitting votes. My personal preference between the two would be "Into You Like a Train," but Rhimes' post-Super Bowl two-parter was the real attention-grabber.

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series
Will Win: Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Should Win: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Potential Upset: The Late Show with David Letterman

If voters base their votes on their overall favorite, it's between The Daily Show and The Colbert Report (with the slight edge given to The Daily Show). However, if they're basing it purely (or mostly) on the episode submitted, I'm going out on another limb to predict a the first ever win for Conan. The episode where he went to Finland was one of the funniest, most entertaining hours of television all season - late night or primetime. Letterman runs a very close second with his classy, charming and of course funny "Super Bowl of Love" featuring Oprah Winfrey. It's another four-way race, but I'm tentatively betting on the Emmy host.

Previously, on The Dish: New Rules, If I Picked The Emmy Nominations 2006: Drama, If I Picked The Emmy Nominations 2006: Comedy, Flipping Coins and Throwing Darts

Um, Sorry...

2006-08-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

Talk about bad timing. It appears that here in L.A. on KCAL 9 (and in other cities where South Park is syndicated twice daily), tonight's second installment of South Park is scheduled to be "Butters' Very Own Episode."

Really, out of 139 episodes, what are the odds?

For those of you who don't recall (or watch South Park), that's the episode where Trey Parker and Matt Stone essentially call out Gary Condit, O.J. Simpson and, uh, the Ramseys as murderers.

When I first saw it, it seemed like a pretty funny and righteous way to stick it to some people we assumed had gotten away with murder.

Now we know better.

This is one of the few times where I'm in favor of pulling an episode from TV out of sensitivity. In fact, I'm not sure how I feel about it ever being broadcast again in its current incarnation. Haven't the names of John and Patsy Ramsey been tarnished enough?

That being said, uh, here are two clips from the episode I found on YouTube. The relevant parts arrive at the 5:05 and 6:50 marks in the first clip, and around the 2:35 mark in the second clip (WARNING: THESE SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYBODY):

May JonBenet and Patsy Ramsey rest in peace.

Houston, I Have A Problem...

2006-08-02T16:26:00.000-07:00

Howdy Houstonians,

How y'all doing? I'm really sorry about that headline up there. I'm sure you're very sick of variations on that line, but I couldn't resist.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing is that apparently my post about Vince Vaughn's phallic thumb was mentioned on a morning radio show there (The Rod Ryan Show) on Monday, sending thousands of new readers to this site. If any of y'all know where I can find a recording of that mention, or can at least summarize what was said, I would be much obliged.

Thank you and bless your souls,
The Pop Culture Petri Dish

A scene from Steve Oedekerk's upcoming Thumbmation film, Brokethumb Mountain?

Previously, on The Dish: No Castration Without Representation, Two Thumbs Close-Up

American Dreamz 2?

2006-07-28T15:38:00.000-07:00

I can't decide which is the funnier thing about this photo: The goofy grin on President Bush's face or the fact that the AP felt the need to caption it, "President Bush, center, poses with 9 of the top 10 American Idol finalists..."

American Idiot, center

America, this is what happens when you (and by you, I mean we) elect a pop star who looks like he's 60; people could conceivably confuse him with George Bush. Thank you, AP, for clarifying.

Previously, on The Dish: Two If By Sea 2?, Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs, Maybe, But Still No Heart and Soul, BUSH DECLARES WAR ON POP CULTURE!

Miami: MIA

2006-07-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

Isn't making a movie of Miami Vice and setting less than half of it in the city of Miami a little like making a movie of The Dukes of Hazzard and setting a quarter of it in the big city of Atlanta?

Oh, right....

Coldplay Hates New York Skyscrapers

2006-07-27T17:21:00.000-07:00

First King Kong, now World Trade Center. Is there any movie that can't be made more appealing to teenage girls by putting "Fix You" in the TV spots?

You can see the King Kong spot here and the World Trade Center spot by clicking here, then clicking "Enter Site," then "Video," then move your cursor over "Select Video," then click on "TV Spot Four."

Previously, on The Dish: Olive Stone, A New Approach

Suri, Wrong Number

2006-07-26T16:47:00.000-07:00

Last July, I snapped a photo of this sign outside the Church of Scientology's Pacific Area Command Base located at the corner of Sunset and L. Ron Hubbard Way (yes, Rest of the World, not only does Los Angeles celebrate "Crash Day", but we name our streets after L. Ron Hubbard -- please don't judge us):

In need of another kind of audit

After some minor Photoshopping (to remove the "2"), I submitted the picture for TVgasm's countdown to Big Brother 6.

A year later, I was walking by the same sign, however the LED display looked slightly different (no Photoshopping here):

Four million "un-read" roam the Earth!

As you can see, it no longer says: "GET IT, READ IT 25 MILLION HAVE." It now says: "GET IT, READ IT 21 MILLION HAVE" (the "IT" in question is Dianetics). So what happened to the other four million who had got it and read it as of July 1, 2005?

Even if all four million took a cruise on the Freewinds and never returned, they still would have gotten it and read it, no? According to this official news release from the Church of Scientology dated April 27, 2006, Dianetics "has sold well over 21 million copies," so I don't know where that 25 million figure came from in 2005.

Something's fishy -- uh, fishier -- at the Church of Scientology.

And here's what the message looks like, in context:

Previously, on The Dish: It all Begins to make sense now..., Battlefield Earth to Tom

Homicide: Life on Repeat

2006-07-22T04:03:00.000-07:00

At first, I was thrilled to see Andre Braugher would be getting a six-episode arc on ER next season (the perfect length to still qualify for a Guest Actor in a Drama Emmy). But then I read on:

Braugher ("Homicide: Life on the Street") will appear in a six-episode arc as a carpenter who arrives in the emergency room with a simple cough. But he suffers a stroke while waiting to be seen, and his life eventually falls apart as a result of his paralysis.

Uh, hasn't he already done that storyline? As always, he was amazing, but I'd rather see him show us something new. However, any Braugher is better than no Braugher at all (unless it's in Poseidon), so this is still enough to get me to tune into ER again.

You, Somebody and Dupree*

2006-07-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

Academy Award nominee Owen Wilson. Academy Award nominee Kate Hudson... Academy Award winner Michael Douglas.

Check out this passive aggressive burn in Reuters' analysis of the weekend box office:

Exit polling indicated women made up 58 percent of the audience, a tribute to the appeal of both Wilson and co-star Kate Hudson. Matt Dillon also stars.

Guess that Oscar nomination for playing a finger-raping, over-the-top, ultimately "redeemed" racist did nothing to boost Dillon's appeal with women.

*Having not subjected myself to the film, I don't know whether Matt Dillon played "You" or "Me," but I'll assume his character didn't get top billing over Kate Hudson's.

Previously, on The Dish: mE!ow

Novak Caned

2006-07-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

One more thing that bothers me about Daily Show studio audiences: They often applaud and howl at the easier puns in the graphics while ignoring the truly inspired ones.

To wit, from Thursday night's story about Bob Novak talking to Fox News' Brit Hume and Sean Hannity, this visual barely got one person to quasi chuckle-cough:

Yes, one blogger came up with it first, but it's still pretty clever

While this more obvious (albeit humorous) pun garnered nine seconds of sustained laughter, applause and whistling:

They only changed one letter (and made a plural noun singular)!

Will Snakes on a Plane references never get old?

Previously, on The Dish: Pun in the Oven, Green Screed

Street Fighter II

2006-07-14T16:26:00.000-07:00

Mayor Cory Booker, star of the truly excellent Oscar-nominated documentary Street Fight, is apparently also an action hero:

Mayor Booker and his guards left Newark’s City Hall around 12:30 p.m. yesterday for a meeting and stumbled upon what appeared to be a confrontation across the street: a police officer and a man in a standoff on Broad Street. The officer held a gun and the man wielded a pair of scissors...

When a nearby police officer went to help him, the man tried to stab the officer with the scissors, but missed, Mr. Booker said. The officer drew his gun as the suspect was running away.

Mr. Booker, 37, who played tight end on Stanford University’s football team, said, “I took off my jacket and gave chase.”

...When Mr. Booker reached the group, he began shouting at the robber: “Not in our city anymore! These days are over!”

And that's not all! He's got gang leaders plotting to assasinate him! Quick, somebody get Vin Diesel to play him in the movie:

Mayor Cory Booker is fast and furious

For those of you who haven't seen Street Fight, there aren't many options. It barely got a pre-Oscar theatrical release last February (five days on just two screens), it's not available on Netflix or Amazon and PBS' POV - which originally broadcast it last July - has no future airings scheduled. With the exception of the occasional festival screening, it looks like the only way to see this riveting film is to plunk down $14.95 (plus shipping & handling) to order a DVD from director Marshall Curry's official website. Which, if you split it with a friend, is cheaper than a night out at the movies.

Olive Stone

2006-07-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

I was surprised to see that World Trade Center is rated PG-13 ("for intense and emotional content, some disturbing images and language"). First, because September 11 seems like R-rated subject matter to me. And second, it's the first non-documentary feature Oliver Stone has directed since his 1974 debut Seizure to receive anything other than an R.

Previously, on The Dish: PG Or Not PG?

Two If By Sea 2?

2006-07-13T02:43:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! News always choses the perfect photo to accompany their stories. So should we infer that this photo (and its caption: "A lighthouse is pounded by waves swollen by typhoon Bliss") is some sort of commentary on Rescue Me's recent controversial rape scene?

I'll leave the photo captioning to the experts

Previously, on The Dish: Acquiring Nemo, Black People Steal, White People Win

Top Fifteen Best Movies Based on TV Series Ever

2006-07-09T04:17:00.000-07:00

1. Charlie’s Angels
2. Wayne’s World
3. The Muppet Movie
4. The Fugitive
5. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
6. Strangers With Candy
7. A Very Brady Sequel
8. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
9. The Addams Family
10. George of the Jungle
11. Batman (1966)
12. Beavis and Butthead Do America
13. DuckTales: The Movie – Treasure of the Lost Lamp
14. Mission: Impossible
15. Traffic
15 ½. Office Space

New Rules

2006-07-07T03:06:00.000-07:00

Memo to the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences: Never again. Never again.

Well, the new voting procedures certainly shook things up, giving critics of the Emmys exactly what we’ve asked for – a changing of the guard. Unfortunately, the replacements are, for the most part… well, I’ll get to that in “The Bad.” But first (to quote Julie Chen)…

The Good

The voters on the comedy panel apparently were under the impression that “comedy” meant comedy. Many of the “shocking” omissions in the three categories voted on by panels (Best Series, Best Actor and Best Actress) are shows that are heavier on drama than laughs: Desperate Housewives, Weeds, Entourage. In the acting categories, where actors submitted one episode, I have a feeling that snubbed actors like Zach Braff, Eric McCormack, Marcia Cross, Lauren Graham, Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman, Eva Longoria and Mary-Louise Parker may have bowed to conventional awards wisdom – that drama gets more respect than comedy – and sent in episodes highlighting their more dramatic sides. While many of those omissions fall under “The Bad,” I do like that comedies that are at least trying to be funny are being recognized.

Which of course leads me to the third best news of the morning: Desperate Housewives snubbed. Big time. I thought maybe there’d be some backlash against this weak season (which in my opinion was no worse than the first), but never in my wildest dreams did I expect anything like this. No Best Comedy Series, no Writing, no Directing and most shocking of all, not a single Best Actress in a Comedy nod. Wow. The only “above the line” nom they got was for one-season-and-out Alfre Woodard, who was great with what she had to work with… which wasn’t much.

The second best news: Lisa Kudrow nominated for Best Actress. I was worried voters unfamiliar with the show might be turned off by its cringe factor, but they came through with a much deserved nomination for Kudrow. Take that, HBO!

The very best news, and perhaps an even bigger shocker than the Desperate Housewives shutout: Will Arnett. Best Supporting Actor nominee. I had to read that three times to make sure it was true.

South Park once again submitted a great episode in “Trapped in the Closet” (though I would’ve gone with the two-part “Cartoon Wars”).

Alan Ball nominated for Writing and Directing the beautiful series finale of Six Feet Under.

Sean Callery’s music for 24 was noticeably more dynamic this season and I’m glad the Emmy voters recognized that.

Turns out Thief was a miniseries. At least Andre Braugher racks up another real Emmy nomination.

Arrested Development goes three-for-three with Best Comedy Series nominations, Scrubs repeats from last year and The Office makes its debut. The three best comedies on television, all nominated.

The West Wing goes seven-for-seven with Best Drama Series nominations and 24 goes five-for-five.

All five Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series nominees and Outstanding Writing for Variety, Music or Comedy Program nominees (which are the same in both categories: The Colbert Report, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Late Show with David Letterman and Real Time with Bill Maher).

My Name is Earl and Lost may not have scored Best Series nominations, but they both scored Writing and Directing honors. Arrested Development and The Office each scored Writing nominations.

I’m also excited for: Steve Carell, Kiefer Sutherland, Jane Kaczmarek, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Frances Conroy, Bryan Cranston, Gregory Itzin, Alan Alda, Jaime Pressly, Elizabeth Perkins, Chandra Wilson, Jean Smart, Stephen Colbert, David Letterman, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, The Amazing Race, Project Runway and Survivor.

Stockard Channing wasn’t nominated for her ~~cameo~~supporting role on The West Wing.

The Bad

In Outstanding Music and Lyrics, Robert Smigel’s catchy “Christmastime for the Jews” from Saturday Night Live was unjustifiably snubbed.

Kevin James? Really? I’ve only seen a handful of episodes of King of Queens, but Kevin James? This is the flaw in the new voting rules. Under the old system we had Jason Bateman and Zach Braff. Under the new one, Kevin James. And I figured Jason Lee was a lock this year.

Again, I don’t watch Law & Order: SVU, but Christopher Meloni? Is he that good? And though I’ve always liked Peter Krause and Martin Sheen, they’ve had more to do in other seasons. Denis Leary’s fine, but not even in the same league as Hugh Laurie (or James Gandolfini, for that matter). Laurie’s omission is pretty shocking, though I must admit I had my doubts when Tom o’Neil reported that Laurie had submitted “No Reason.” He gets to stretch a lot in that episode, but the whole it-was-all-a-hallucination season finale was quite polarizing and may have turned off voters. I know it turned me off.

I know I said she didn’t belong in the Lead Actress category, but how could you watch Edie Falco’s work in “Join the Club” and not give her an award? At least she has a couple of statues at home, but what about Jennifer Garner? Now she’ll never take home an Emmy for one of the great roles in television history.

I was worried the one episode only system would hurt Lost and that’s exactly what happened. It probably wouldn’t have hurt last year, if they’d submitted the pilot, but by now the show is so convoluted that it’s impossible to just arrive in the middle and immediately recognize its brilliance. What a shame. The new rules can’t be blamed for keeping Lost’s fantastic ensemble out of the Supporting categories. That’s probably more a matter of them all canceling each other out.

Come Emmy time, I can’t always remember which guest actors were worthy of notice, but this year there were a few. And they were shut out. On Grey’s Anatomy, I found Monica Keena’s turn as a patient connected to a stranger by a pole more impressive than Christina Ricci’s nominated performance. And Gina Torres was phenomenal on The Shield. I almost forgot one of my favorite guest spots of the season: Michael Cera on Veronica Mars. On the Comedy side, it would’ve been nice to have seen some of the My Name is Earl guest stars like Kathryn Joosten, Juliette Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi. And my love for Carol Burnett trumps my loathing for Desperate Housewives.

There are better shows than House and Grey’s Anatomy (how Six Feet Under couldn’t top both with “Everyone’s Waiting” is beyond me), but there are also worse.

After a promising start, this was really a lackluster season of The Sopranos. Still, with only one episode to go on, its awkward pacing, storylines that go nowhere and anticlimax couldn’t work against it.

And The What The !@#$ Were They Thinking?

Is there any connection between Three Days in September and Two Days in October, both nominated for Exceptional Merit in Nonfiction Filmmaking? Or is that just some weird coincidence?

American Idol’s Finale was nominated for Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program? Sure, that was two of the most entertaining hours on television all season, but only because it was such a monumental train wreck of astronomical proportions. If aliens showed up and were told that was one of the highest-rated broadcasts of the year, they’d get back in their spaceships and turn around. It was an embarrassment of embarrassments. Two words: Meat Loaf. Three more words: Clay Aiken wannabe. Yes, I loved every second, but I could say the same for From Justin to Kelly and you wouldn’t nominate that for a freaking Oscar, would you?

And it wouldn’t be a “And The What The !@#$ Were They Thinking?” without… Stockard !@#$ing Channing! As the Emmy-nominated Will Arnett would say, “Come on!” I appreciate that she wasn’t nominated for The West Wing, but Out of Practice? I never saw it, but she couldn’t have been better than Lauren Graham, Mary-Louise Parker, Marcia Cross and Tichina Arnold. What does this woman have to do to NOT get nominated? A show on ~~The WB~~The CW?

Previously, on The Dish: The Good, The Bad and The Emmy, Anti-Em, Anti-Em

If I Picked The Emmy Nominations 2006: Drama

2006-07-06T03:54:00.000-07:00

I watch pretty much every comedy series that’s critically acclaimed or beloved by The Emmys (except for Two and a Half Men, which I only watch from time to time). The drama series? Not so much. There are just too many to keep up with. So here are some of the dramas that I don’t watch and thus won’t be handing out fake Emmy nominations to: The 4400, Battlestar Gallactica, C.S.I., C.S.I.: Miami, C.S.I.: NY, The Closer, Commander-in-Chief, E.R., Everwood, Law & Order, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Medium, N.C.I.S., Over There, Rome and Without a Trace. I’m sure they’re all fine shows (except for Rome, which try as I might, I just couldn’t get into), but don’t I watch enough TV? In addition, I only caught a handful of episodes of Boston Legal this season so I don’t feel comfortable putting any of its fine actors in my top fives.

I’m currently making my way through the first season of Huff on DVD. Having not seen any of the episodes eligible for nomination this year, I’m declining to include it in any categories. However, if it maintains similar level of quality in its second season, I would hypothetically list the series, Hank Azaria and Oliver Platt as a Runners-up and (the unfairly overlooked) Paget Brewster and Blythe Danner as top five contenders in Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress respectively.

Enough disclaimers. On with the awards…

Best Drama Series

24 – Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, after the phenomenal fourth season, it went and got better! This was the most consistently thrilling day of 24 yet and probably the show I looked forward to most every week.

Lost – During this show’s inaugural season, I sometimes wondered if the writers were just ambling along blindly with no endgame in their sights. While those concerns still pop up from time to time, I’m more confident now that there is a plan in place, especially after cool pay-offs like finally seeing the other side of Boone’s radio transmission from the first season. Something else that’s remarkable about this show is how it introduced so many new characters that quickly became favorites (I think I’m the only person in the world who liked Ana-Lucia). The only downside of that is that I began wanting to see less of some of the original castaways. Still, one of the most compelling and entertaining shows on television.

Six Feet Under – The final season started out a little shaky, but boy did it end in perfect style – fitting for a series all about The End. I’m not ashamed to admit that twice this season, Six Feet Under caused a salty liquid to spew forth from my eyes: Throughout pretty much the entire hour of “All Alone” I was a wreck and then during the finale’s beautiful and poetic montage, I just bawled. Both times I was caught off guard by how much I cared about these characters. So few shows end as deftly as this one. For that alone (and for utterly devastating me), it deserves a nod.

Veronica Mars – This slot was a bit of a toss-up and any of the three FX shows below could’ve easily slid in here instead. Don’t get me wrong. I really like Veronica Mars. Heck, I think I even like like Veronica Mars. It’s just that every time I was getting into the overall season-long mysteries of year two, the show would lose momentum – either thanks to the writers’ plotting or the UPN’s start-and-stop scheduling. Still, a highly enjoyable series with clever writing and gifted acting that I found myself looking forward to more and more. I can’t wait to see what they do with Season 3.

The West Wing – Another great series that went out with great style. While the two-shows-in-one format could be frustrating at times (all along I kept wishing the show would do better in the ratings so NBC might do a spin-off and give it two hours each week), it’s hard to complain about a season as thrilling as this one. Of all the series that went off the air this year, The West Wing and Arrested Development are the ones I mourn the most.

Runners-up: Alias, Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me, The Shield

And the Second Tier: Big Love, Grey’s Anatomy, House, Prison Break, The Sopranos

Best Actress in a Drama

Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars – Whip-smart comedy. Heart-wrenching drama. Is there nothing this girl can’t do?

Frances Conroy, Six Feet Under – For the first four seasons, I usually found Conroy to be grating and one-note. But during the final run, something changed – either in me or in her. She was softer, more human (how many actresses have I said that about so far?). Suddenly, I really liked Ruth. Conroy had some fantastic moments to play and she more than rose to the occasion, demonstrating great range.

Edie Falco, The Sopranos – If I Picked The Emmy Category Submissions, I would send Falco to the Supporting Actress bracket. Overall, Carmela really hasn’t had much to do over the past two seasons. Granted, she’s not in Lorraine Bracco territory yet, but that whole spec house business? Feh! However, since this is the official category to nominate her in, this is where I nominate her. And she must be nominated, if only (and really, only) for the episodes when Tony was in the hospital. Falco stripped Carmela down, physically and emotionally, and just blew me away. I only wish she could’ve been given more to do throughout the season.

Jennifer Garner, Alias – Her series may have had more ups and downs than a game of Chutes and Ladders, but Garner was always the cat’s pajamas and the bee’s knees. Watching the series’ final stretch, when it returned to the exciting cliffhangers and mythology of its first season, really made me long for what could’ve been if it had stayed true to that for all five seasons. But back to Garner… She’s super.

Jeanne Tripplehorn, Big Love – She’s the heart and glue of the Henrickson family and the show. Tripplehorn’s performance makes it all seem almost… normal.

Runners-up: Kim Raver (24), Joely Richardson (Nip/Tuck)

And the Second Tier: Allison Janney (The West Wing), Ginnifer Goodwin (Big Love)

Best Actor in a Drama

Andre Braugher, Thief – Not sure if this counts as a series or a mini-series, but Braugher could act in an infomercial and I’d give him a fake Emmy. Hell, he could appear on Desperate Housewives and I’d give him a fake Emmy.

James Gandolfini, The Sopranos – In between heavy breathing, he did some wonderful acting… as usual.

Hugh Laurie, House – If it weren’t for his performance, there’d be no reason to watch this show. I can’t think of any other series on the air I could say that about. He’s just that good.

Julian McMahon, Nip/Tuck – This wasn’t the lurid soap’s best season and I don’t know if it was residual antipathy from The Fantastic Four or the somewhat weaker than usual writing, but I wasn’t quite as enamored with McMahon’s performance as I’ve been in the past. That being said, he’s still pretty fantas— awesome.

Kiefer Sutherland, 24 - Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Jack Bauer’s calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it. There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland… Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Runners-up: Michael Chiklis (The Shield), Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy), Michael C. Hall (Six Feet Under), Peter Krause (Six Feet Under), James Spader (Boston Legal), Dylan Walsh (Nip/Tuck)

And the Second Tier: Denis Leary (Rescue Me), Bill Paxton (Big Love), Martin Sheen (The West Wing)

Best Supporting Actress in a Drama

Yunjin Kim, Lost – She didn’t have as many great moments this season as she did last season, but when Sun thought she’d lost Jin… Kim was excellent.

Mary Lynn Rajskub, 24 – She brings a small dose of humor to the otherwise deadly serious 24 without ever seeming out of place. This season, we got to see new sides of Chloe in her relationships with skeevy men and her friendship with Edgar.

Jean Smart, 24 – A most welcome addition to the 24 family. But I still miss Shohreh Aghdashloo.

Mae Whitman, Thief – Again, not sure if this is a mini-series or not, but who cares? Whitman proved she could be much more than ~~Egg~~Ann in this very challenging role. She’s definitely a young actress to watch.

Chandra Wilson, Grey’s Anatomy – At first she seemed destined to be a one-note character, but Wilson has shown great depth and range. Motherhood definitely agrees with her performance.

Runners-up: Lauren Ambrose (Six Feet Under), Diane Farr (Rescue Me), Rachel Griffiths (Six Feet Under), Janel Moloney (The West Wing), CCH Pounder (The Shield), Callie Thorne (Rescue Me)

And the Second Tier: Candice Bergen (Boston Legal), Melinda Clarke (The O.C.), Michelle Rodriguez (Lost), Amanda Seyfried (Big Love), Cynthia Watros (Lost), Grace Zabriskie (Big Love)

Best Supporting Actor in a Drama

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Lost – Mr. Eko just came and stole the whole show. Pretty incredible.

Gregory Itzin, 24 – The president you love to hate. As opposed to the one you just hate.

Louis Lombardi, 24 – Of all the many characters whose clocks have run out, Edgar’s death was the first to hit me on a really emotional level. Oh, Edgar!

John Scurti, Rescue Me – In the second season, he really emerged as a three-dimensional character. Still funny (unlike most of the Rescue Me characters who just think they’re funny), but Scurti’s Lou also showed pathos and heart, becoming a standout in the cast.

Bradley Whitford, The West Wing – He probably should’ve swapped with Martin Sheen this season and taken the Lead Actor slot, seeing as how he was the lead this year. Getting Josh out of the White House and into a relationship with Donna gave Whitford a chance to really invigorate his performance.

Runners-up: Alan Alda (The West Wing), Michael Emerson (Lost), Jorge Garcia (Lost), Josh Holloway (Lost), Stacy Keach (Prison Break), James Morrison (24), Terry O’Quinn (Lost), Richard Schiff (The West Wing), Jimmy Smits (The West Wing), John Spencer (The West Wing)

And the Second Tier: Victor Garber (Alias), Daniel Dae Kim (Lost), T.R. Knight (Grey’s Anatomy), William Shatner (Boston Legal), Isaiah Washington (Grey’s Anatomy), Forest Whitaker (The Shield)

Previously, on The Dish: If I Picked The Emmy Nominations 2006: Comedy

If I Picked The Emmy Nominations 2006: Comedy

2006-07-05T14:48:00.000-07:00

I’m generally an agreeable guy, but whenever someone says that there’s nothing good on TV, I want to punch them in the face. Aside from being a horribly pretentious, cliché and uninformed thing to say, it’s simply not true. Never has this been more apparent than when I started compiling my “If I Picked the Emmy Nominations” nominations. Also never more apparent: My complete and utter lack of life. I watch way too much TV. But that’s only because there’s so much great stuff on TV.

We’ll see if the Emmys’ new voting procedures reflects this or not. I think they could either result in many fresh, deserving shows being recognized or they could keep serialized shows like 24, Lost and Arrested Development from landing nominations. One glaring problem (as evidenced by the rumored semi-finalist list Tom O’Neil has compiled over at The Envelope): The Best Series categories should be winnowed down to 15 slots (instead of 10) while the Acting categories should get narrowed to 10 slots (instead of 15). There are plenty of great shows still absent from the shortlist while the Acting categories seem heavily padded with deadweight (Kevin James? Kevin Connelly? Adrian Grenier? Omar Gooding? Leah Remini? Jenna Elfman? Reba McEntire? Stockard Channing?!?!). That's probably because the best shows are ensemble pieces. If they start doing these preliminary rounds for Supporting Actors, then they'll need at least 15 slots.

Here at The Pop Culture Petri Dish, voting procedures are the same as they’ve been the last two years (as are the disclaimers). So, without further ado, If I Picked the Emmy Nominations…

Ever since Friends, Frasier and Sex and the City went off the air, critics and audiences have been bemoaning the death of television comedy. A year ago, I might’ve been inclined to agree with them. I could barely scrape together five nominees for Best Comedy. What a difference a year makes. I had no less than a dozen shows seriously contending for nominations as Best Comedy. I would feel comfortable putting any one of those 12 in the top five. In addition, there were nine other series in the next tier – not my favorites, but all quality shows. Several of them are freshman series that have potential (like The Office did) to really grow in their sophomore seasons.

Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise – Television comedy is alive and well (even if three of my top five comedies are dead).

Best Comedy Series

Arrested Development – Of its two and a half seasons, this half season was the show’s “weakest.” However, Arrested Development’s “weakest” episodes are better than just about anything else on television. What else is there to say about this show? This series’ brilliance will be sorely missed.

The Comeback – I think a large part of my love for this show came about because nobody else was showing it any love. I don’t think I read a single positive review until it was wrapping up its first (and ultimately only) season and was on the verge of cancellation. Then, from out of nowhere, the critics who had dumped on it when it first premiered started lavishing praise. But it was too late. The show itself – Horribly uncomfortable and yet utterly compelling and hilarious; a very clever (more clever than it had to be) send-up of such easy targets as reality TV, sit-coms and Hollywood egos.

The Office – I never bought into the cult of the original BBC version of The Office. I watched every episode, but I never saw in it what so many others did. I liked the style and the performances, but found the humor overly dry and redundant (no pun intended). Even with only 12 episodes total, it felt like they ran out of story. When the American version premiered last mid-season, I liked it better than the original but wasn’t blown away. Then, like most people, I found the second season to be an exponential leap forward. The development of the supporting-supporting cast, the Jim & Pam romance and the overall tone of the show was astounding. I quickly fell in love with this show and its characters. With Arrested Development gone, this has become my favorite comedy currently on TV.

Scrubs – This show has been great for five seasons now. Quality has fluctuated a tad throughout, but it’s never dipped far, which is pretty remarkable considering that “quirky” series like this usually have a short shelf life (see Ally McBeal). It also features one of the most criminally-ignored ensembles on television.

Stella – What an odd, wonderful surprise this show was last summer. It featured an absurd type of humor unlike anything else out there. What it lacked in character development and story it more than made up for in sheer comic lunacy. I don’t know why Comedy Central isn’t bringing it back, but at least they’re putting a DVD out later this year.

Runners-up: Gilmore Girls, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Malcolm in the Middle, My Name is Earl, Reno 911!, Sons & Daughters, Weeds

And the Second Tier: Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, Everybody Hates Chris, Free Ride, How I Met Your Mother, The Loop, Love Monkey, The New Adventures of Old Christine, Will & Grace

Best Actress in a Comedy

Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives – Always my favorite Housewife, Cross stood head and shoulders above her co-stars this season and really shined. I won’t let the fact that she should be nominated as Best Actress in a Drama work against her.

Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls – It was hard not putting Gilmore Girls in my Best Comedy Series top five, but this season was just a little too uneven compared to the series that made it through. However, no matter what’s going on with the show, Graham is always in top form. If anything good comes out of the Emmys’ new voting, it’d be Graham squeezing past some of those Housewives.

Jane Kaczmarek, Malcolm in the Middle – In the past I’ve found her performance to be shrill, one-note and overrated. Yet in the last two seasons, Kaczmarek (along with the writers) have given Lois more dimensions and shading and dialed back her shrillness. What clenched this fake nomination for her was the touching, pitch-perfect backyard speech she gave in the show’s finale. One of the great moments on television this season.

Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback – The most amazing thing about this performance is that Kudrow made you forget Phoebe Buffay. Her Valerie Cherish was nothing like the character she portrayed on Friends for ten years. Also incredible was how Kudrow played Valerie like a dual role – the performer who’s always “on” and the woman who forgets or doesn’t realize that the camera is on. Yet both characters were equally sad and funny and 100% believable. I would’ve loved to have seen what Kudrow would’ve done with a second season in Valerie’s heels.

Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds – This spot was a toss-up between Mary-Louise Parker and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, but ultimately the extra dimensions Parker had to play gave her the slight edge. She played the comedy and the drama of her character with equal dexterity.

Runners-up: Tichina Arnold (Everybody Hates Chris), Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls), Julia Louis-Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine), Debra Messing (Will & Grace)

And The Second Tier: Teri Hatcher (Desperate Housewives), Felicity Huffman (Desperate Housewives), Eva Longoria (Desperate Housewives), Gillian Vigman (Sons & Daughters)

Best Actor in a Comedy

Jason Bateman, Arrested Development – He deserves a thousand Emmys for his work the last two and a half seasons. It can’t be easy being the relatively grounded center of the insane Bluth family. But he’s no straight man; Michael Bluth can be quite self-absorbed himself and Bateman’s bone-dry delivery cracks me up. I think I’ll miss him most of all.

Zach Braff, Scrubs – A part of me has wanted to hate him ever since he became a rock star auteur with Garden State (that’s just how I am), but damned if he doesn’t make it impossible with his consistently excellent work on Scrubs. He also deserves a Best Director nomination for the wonderful Wizard of Oz-obsessed episode of Scrubs.

Steve Carell, The Office – A perfect boob.

Jason Lee, My Name is Earl – What a fun and instantly iconic character Lee (and Greg Garcia) created. Though he could’ve easily become a thin caricature or redneck stereotype, Earl is neither, thanks in large part to Lee. I’ve never been a huge fan of his before – often I found him obnoxious – but with Earl, Lee brought something missing from most of his big screen performances: Heart.

Josh Radnor, How I Met Your Mother – If The Envelope’s list is to be believed, Radnor didn’t even make the cut of 15, which just seems wrong. In a cast full of more recognizable faces, this newcomer still managed to own the show. He’s sincere and incredibly likable, which shouldn’t translate to funny, but he’s that too. The perfect lead for a romantic comedy like How I Met Your Mother.

Runners-up: Fred Goss (Sons & Daughters), Thomas Lennon (Reno 911!)

And The Second Tier: Tom Cavanagh (Love Monkey), Larry David (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Eric McCormack (Will & Grace), Tony Shalhoub (Monk)

Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy

Kelly Bishop, Gilmore Girls – Every year, Bishop makes Emily Gilmore a little more human and real. She did some of her finest work ever on that airplane in "The Prodigal Daughter Returns."

Jenna Fischer, The Office – If I could be stranded on an island with one TV character this year, it would be Pam. But that’s not why Fischer deserves an Emmy. Her Pam is such a complete and real person and her comedy comes from that place. Plus, I’m in love with her.

Jamie Pressly, My Name is Earl – Such a fun, unique character. Anytime she’s onscreen, she injects the scene with a new, crazed energy.

Judy Reyes, Scrubs – It feels wrong not to put Sarah Chalke here too, but it seems like every year Elliott has less and less to do on the show. Reyes, meanwhile, had some great stuff to play this season with Carla getting pregnant and as always she was fantastic.

Jessica Walter, Arrested Development – It’s impossible to imagine Walter as anything other than Lucille, so when I see her in interviews as herself, it’s always quite jarring. She just makes it look so effortless. I think I’ll miss her most of all.

Runners-up: Sarah Chalke (Scrubs), Portia de Rossi (Arrested Development), Kerri Kenney-Silver (Reno 911!), Christa Miller Lawrence (Scrubs), Elizabeth Perkins (Weeds), Alia Shawkat (Arrested Development)

And The Second Tier: Megan Mullally (Will & Grace), Alison Quinn (Sons & Daughters), Nicollette Sheridan (Desperate Housewives), Alfre Woodard (Desperate Housewives)

Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy

Will Arnett, Arrested Development – So smarmy. So wonderful. I think I’ll miss him most of all.

Michael Cera, Arrested Development – Every season it becomes clearer what a comic genius this boy is. His timing and delivery are just insane. One of the millions of reasons why Arrested Development’s cancellation is so tragic is that we won’t get to see Cera continue to grow and shine. I think I’ll miss him most of all.

Tony Hale, Arrested Development – So loveable yet so deranged. I think I’ll miss him most of all.

John Krasinski, The Office – I’m so jealous that he got to kiss Pam, but if it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it was Jim. Krasinski can generate laughs with nothing but a sly look to the camera. Like Josh Radnor, he’s funny and sincere and likable and the perfect lead for a romantic comedy… who happens to be a supporting player in the crazy mundane world of The Office.

John C. McGinley, Scrubs – Isn’t it time the real Emmys noticed him? His performances in "My Lunch" and "My Fallen Idol" (the latter, with barely any dialogue), where Dr. Cox lost his groove, were among his best ever. Which is really saying something.

Runners-up: Bryan Cranston (Malcolm in the Middle), David Cross (Arrested Development), Donald Faison (Scrubs), Neil Flynn (Scrubs), Jeremy Piven (Entourage), Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development), Rainn Wilson (The Office)

And The Second Tier: Richard Burgi (Desperate Housewives), Terry Crews (Everybody Hates Chris), Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother), Sean Hayes (Will & Grace), Scott Patterson (Gilmore Girls)

Stay tuned for the Drama nominees…

Previously, on The Dish: If I Picked The Emmy Nominations 2005, If I Picked The Emmy Nominations, Vols. 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5

Bloom Man Duo

2006-07-04T15:31:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when I look at this photo of Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom...

...all I see is this?

The only thing missing is the Dead Man's Dust.

Previously, on The Dish: Beating Crowe, Blue Man Duo, Elizabethtown Not Fond 'a Jane and Vice Versa

PG Or Not PG?

2006-07-01T02:20:00.000-07:00

House Majority Whip Roy Blunt doesn't like the allegations that Facing the Giants, "a Christian-themed movie about a football coach's faith in God," was allegedly "rated PG instead of G due to religious content."

"This incident raises the disquieting possibility that the MPAA considers exposure to Christian themes more dangerous for children than exposure to gratuitous sex and violence."

Now, his use of the word "more" in that sentence suggests that if Christian themes are warranting PG ratings, then gratuitous sex and violence are slipping by in G-rated movies.

Really? Innuendo and cartoon violence, maybe, but gratuitous? How about some examples Rep. Blunt?

And while you're at it, where's the outrage over An Inconvenient Truth's PG branding? The only thing offensive about that film is that it's scary as hell. It's rated PG for "mild thematic elements" while Facing the Giants is rated the same for "some thematic elements." In either case, does a G versus a PG make any difference at all? Doesn't the House Energy and Commerce Committee have better things to spend its, uh, energy on?

Previously, on The Dish: Bigger, Longer and Cut?

I've Created Luthor-ans!

2006-06-30T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, they are both bald...

Surely this casting mistake is the only thing off base in the CAP Movie Ministry's Christian analysis of Superman Returns, right?:

Superman Returns is also a tale of how Lex Luthor (Ben Kingsley), who is now out of prison, again plots and plans to destroy Superman and billions of humans in the process of acquiring -- you guessed it -- land.

Right?:

Isn't there an increasing trend in the prevailing centers of childhood development -- in public schools for example -- to teach that the only safe sex is no sex (not that the school has any business teaching kids about sex in the first place)? If true and if movies really do reflect real life instead of engineer it, shouldn't movies follow suit instead of conflict with it? But then, if movies did truly reflect real life and its apparent trend to teach abstinence, Superman Returns would probably not contain the cohabitation and pregnancy out of wedlock. Now, wouldn't that be a shame?

Even Christopher Moltisanti's not spacey enough to confuse these two

For a somewhat more (surprisingly) reasonable Christian reading of Superman Returns, check out the *gulp* American Family Association.

Previously, on The Dish: Superman-on-Man Love, (pop) Culture (a)War(d)s

The NeverEnding Endings

2006-06-28T13:33:00.000-07:00

Is it because The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King made so much money and won so many Oscars (including Best Adapted Screenplay!) that every big popcorn movie these days seems to have four to five endings? I'm looking at you, The Da Vinci Code and Superman Returns!

Middle American Graffiti

2006-06-27T17:55:00.000-07:00

Everybody's a critic

SpaceBar/Cowboy

2006-06-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

Is Justin Timberlake's space bar broken? Or did will.i.am remove it?

The erstwhile 'N Syncer has announced plans to release his second solo effort, FutureSex/LoveSounds, via Jive Records on Sept. 12, with the first single, "SexyBack," going out to radio stations across the country July 7.

Maybe he was just looking for some way to differentiate his RandomFour/NounAlbum title from the Red Hot Chili Peppers' and Gwen. Stefani's.

Previously, on The Dish: Save Faris!

Moms & Dads' Day

2006-06-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

Well, June 10 came and went without incident, but June 12 is shaping up to be a magical day.

I was wondering why this site was suddenly getting hundreds of hits from people searching for information about Shane Klingensmith - that wonderous pre-boy bander who had it all: looks, dance moves, angelic voice. Turns out, Bravo's running a marathon of every episode of Showbiz Moms & Dads today from 1 to 7 pm! And since there's no DVD set in sight, I'll be recording every episode so that I can relive every uncomfortable moment.

But wait! There's more! Thanks to a heads up on the World of Wonder website (chock full of info about Showbiz Moms & Dads, Showdog Moms & Dads and Sports Kids Moms & Dads), I've learned that Oprah is re-running her sitdown with two of the Sports Kids Moms & Dads parents... TODAY! All hail June 12! (if only she were re-airing her chat with the Nutters!)

As for Shane (who readers of The Dish are obviously clammoring for information about), there's not too much news to report. When last we checked in with him, his website had been abandoned, but his loyal Street Team remained. Now, sadly, they too have gone missing:

And unlike other Moms & Dads alumni (and The Pop Culture Petri Dish), Shane has no MySpace profile. However, I did find two bits of old news to share with you.

First, in 2004, Shane was named Best Escort at the Miss Florida American Sweetheart Optional Pageant, for escorting his niece (and Top Semi-Finalist) Bethany Klingensmith.

Bethany Klingensmith and crown

Second, it appears Showbiz Moms & Dads executive producers Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato wanted to work with Shane again:

This year for our Christmas card we plan to dredge up an old Pop Tarts pop song, "Hot Christmas." Without boasting, it's a catchy ditty - in a completely toxic kind of way - with the chorus "I'm dreaming of a hot Christmas, c'mmon baby let's [beat] this christmas." It's suggestive in an innocent way. Mild double entendre, that kind of thing. So we think who better to sing this song than Shane Klingensmith who sang "Hot Hot Hot" in Showbiz Moms and Dads? Everything is going just fine until the manager intervenes:

I'm pretty sure it implies having sex, but I think instead of putting the single beat in there (where the word would be) it should be changed to something like "let's kiss this Christmas" or "let's light a fire this Christmas." Hopefully you understand what I'm saying

We reply:

We can't change the words of the song because that's the whole idea: KLet's blank this Christmas. Because it's just a beat, because no rude words are actually said, it's all up to people's imagination. And because no one is saying any rude words, it's really very innocent.

Doesn't make any difference. Everyone's afraid - even of innuendo.

Ah, what might've been...

Previously, on The Dish: Gotta Love The "Dunc Nut", Misses Mr. Klingensmith, After They Were "Stars", Retraction III

Superman-on-Man Love

2006-06-10T16:37:00.000-07:00

According to Bryan Singer, Superman "is probably the most heterosexual character in any movie I've ever made." And after watching Superman II for the first time last night, I'm inclined to think Singer's Superman movie might not be the least heterosexual Superman movie ever made.

Two choice (and bizzaro) quotes from the man in blue tights' second caped escapade:

Lex Luthor (to a fellow inmate): I want my Liberace record back tonight.

And this odd exchange between an astronaut and ground control:

Nate: By the way, Boris and I are getting engaged.
Controller: I had a feeling about you guys when I saw your Rorschach tests.
Nate: Just a little down-home humor there, Houston.

Can somebody who was alive when this movie was made tell me: Are Rorschach tests how they could tell if you were gay before the advent of Coldplay?

Previously, on The Dish: A Little Less Super Bowl, Top Ten Rejected Titles for Brokeback Mountain

Because when I did a Google Image Search for "gay superman," this was better than any picture of Superman I could find

No Castration Without Representation!

2006-06-05T01:02:00.000-07:00

Less than four days after creating a MySpace page and The Pop Culture Petri Dish has already been censored by Tom (or Rupert Murdoch or whoever the Powers That Be are). Without any warning at all they took down one of MyPics:

One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war!

Now, if they had bothered to e-mail me regarding any concerns over nudity, or even followed the link below the photo, I could've told them that this is not a picture of a penis, but rather Vince Vaughn's thumb (which happens to look very much like a penis).

Granted, the image does technically violate MySpace's Photo Policy, since it features celebrities and is copyrighted, but then, so do ten of the eleven pics that were (so far) permitted to remain up on MyMySpace page. Including, strangely, this other photo of Vince Vaughn's penis-thumb:

This one gets the thumbs up from MySpace?

So does MySpace just decide, willy nilly, to remove pictures of famous people's deformed digits? Or maybe one of MyNewfriends reported the image (Et tu, Jon Favreau?). Either way, I demand MyRight to bare thumbs! Does anybody know how I can plead MyCase to Tom?

Until then, I can take comfort knowing that when you Google "vince vaughn's ugly thumb" (as one reader apparently did earlier today) this site is the third one listed!

Previously, on The Dish: Be MyFriend, Two Thumbs Close-Up

Educating Ratner

2006-06-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

Listen up Brett Ratner: It's time for today's vocabulary lesson.

eve·ry
adj.
1. Constituting each and all members of a group without exception.

And...

one
adj.

4. Being a single member or element of a group, category, or kind: I'm just one player on the team.

So, Brett, which of these words should you have used when you said:

"I feel sort of guilty, because I look up to guys like Spielberg, and I beat every record of his."

In this instance, you should've said one, seeing as how you only beat a single member of the group of Spielberg's records, and not each and all without exception. Because while you (and you alone, with no help from the comic book fanbase or the interest fostered by Bryan Singer's previous X-Movies) managed to beat Steven Spielberg's 9-year-old Memorial Day opening weekend record, there are still many members of the group of Spielberg's records that you did not beat.

For starters: The Lost World: Jurassic Park sold more tickets (thanks to inflation) over its Memorial Day weekend bow than X-Men: The Last Stand (and on fewer screens) and The Lost World had a bigger pre-Memorial Day Sunday (in actual dollars) than X-Men. Spielberg still holds the records for highest grossing director of all time (more than doubling his closest competitor and more than quadrupling Ratner), most movies to gross over $200 million (7 to Ratner's 1), most movies to gross over $100 million (13 to Ratner's 3), most directing Oscars won in the last 13 years (2 to Ratner's 0), most DGA Award nominations and wins ever, and the list goes on and on.

You'd think Ratner would give Spielberg his due, considering how Spielberg gave him a check that helped get him laid.

Previously, on The Dish: Retraction, Big Brother Vocab Lesson of the Week, Gross Negligence

Be MyFriend

2006-06-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hey kids! Now you can be The Pop Culture Petri Dish's friend!

As part of our continuing biennial celebration, we now have a MySpace profile (all the cool blogs are doing it). Check it out! Add The Dish as your friend! Don't be Shy! I swear, I won't bombard you with annoying bulletins about what the last thing I ate was or my favorite color.

And don't be fooled by my age. Apparently, MySpace won't let two-year-olds sign up so I had to pretend to be 26. I hope that doesn't scare away the online predators...

Happy (Belated) Second Blogoversary to Me

2006-05-31T03:24:00.000-07:00

I'm still waiting on world peace. And that second season of Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.

This past Sunday – Memorial Day – was a national day of commemoration, marking the one year anniversary of The Pop Culture Petri Dish’s first blogoversary, and, coincidentally, The Pop Culture Petri Dish’s second blogoversary.

Yes, it’s been two whole years since this blog was birthed in the middle of the night, and what a second year it has been. Having forged a one-sided truce in my one-sided blog war, I turned my sights on another one-sided feud – this time against Jamie Foxx (and his never-ending impression of Ray Charles).

Also this year, The Dish had perhaps its biggest scoop ever, thanks to links from such power-bloggers as reality blurred, Best Week Ever and TVgasm. It was certainly The Dish's most eyeball-catching post ever, though the very last post of our second year is putting up a good fight in that department, thanks again to a link from Best Week Ever.

For the most part, I’ve gotten away from the long, rambling, ranty, in-depth over-analysis of The Dish’s inaugural year (with a few notable relapses here and there), instead training my pop culture microscope on insignificant things that the naked eye might've missed.

And then there was Tom Cruise (and more Tom Cruise).

As a gift to you, my dear eyeballs, I’ve finally cleaned, updated and organized the links you see to your right (and added “THE DISH RECOMMENDS…”). And as we move forward into the future, we’ll be looking back at the past. From now on, new posts will include links at the bottom to relevant posts from the archives (when relevant).

Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for linking and most of all, thank you for flying The Pop Culture Petri Dish.

Previously, on The Dish: Happy (Belated) Blogoversary to Me; I've Created Lutherans!

Late Shift

2006-05-30T19:46:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry if I got your hopes up to see a Tom Hanks vs. Tom Hanks grudge match tonight. It seems somebody at CBS also noticed the scheduling coincidence and The Eye blinked. So they've replaced America's favorite actor with America's favorite actress:

Hanks for nothing, CBS!

However, CBS will be replaying Hanks' chat with Letterman on Friday, so if you want to achieve the same effect of an all-Hanks, all-channels universe, I suggest recording Leno and then playing it back at 11:35 pm Friday so you can switch back and forth between Hankses.

Two Thumbs Close-Up

2006-05-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

Yet another reason to be disturbed by The Break-Up...

Flipping through Entertainment Weekly's "Exclusive!" first photo shoot of Jennifer Aniston & Vince Vaughn together, I was struck by something... odd. Maybe it's just me, but look at this picture (click here to embiggen):

See anything just a mite suggestive? Think Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. Or Vaughn's own Thumbsucker.

Give up? Here's a close-up, with only minor erasing to remove distracting elements:

All thumb

Do you see it now? Or is it just me?

Apparently, Vaughn "lost a piece of his thumb in a car wreck." Now we know which part of his anatomy they used to replace it (perhaps inspired by this classic film?).

Now, take another look at that Entertainment Weekly cover on your newstand or in your bathroom:

And look closer (with minor erasing):

A Swinger's finger?

The Godfather: Part Ewww!

2006-05-24T02:26:00.000-07:00

On her majesty's secret service

Every time I see the trailer for The Break-Up, I get the creeps... and not because of how Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau have let themselves go in the ten years since Swingers. No, what disturbs me is the part where Judy Davis tells Jennifer Aniston: "Go see Mischa, my personal waxer at the spa. Ask her for the Telly Savalas." Then Aniston, looking at herself naked in the mirror recites Kojak's catchphrase, "Who loves ya, baby?"

Now, Telly Savalas was Jennifer Aniston's godfather. So, you can see how her referring to the waxing of her most intimate of areas by the bald-headed actor's name would be somewhat godincestuous and therefore, creepy.

But hey, at least her godfather wasn't Gabe Kaplan.

Luca Brazilian sleeps with the fishes

The Two Timers Club

2006-05-24T01:06:00.000-07:00

We here at The Dish just love fun little late night scheduling quirks - even when they involve Toms other than Cruise. While browsing ahead in the TiVo schedule, a new one popped up, as coincidental as any plot turn in The DaVinci Code - Tom Hanks vs. Tom Hanks! At 11:35 PM on May 31st, Hanks will complete his quest for world domination by appearing on both The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and The Late Show with David Letterman (through the magic of re-runs).

Tommy Two-Time

My suggestion for the best way to view this lunar eclipse of talk show appearances? Flip back and forth between the two every few seconds, seeing if you can catch Hanks delivering the same spontaneous amusing anecdote at the same time.

Bye Bye Baby

2006-05-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

Worst wife ever:

The audience at the Los Angeles Forum included Madonna's Kabbalah guru Rabbi Yehuda Berg, socialite Nicole Richie, and gay icon Rosie O'Donnell, who upgraded herself to a premium seat on the floor and left her spouse alone in the stands.

I pity Kelli O'Donnell if Rosie's Family Cruise ever hits an iceberg and there aren't enough lifeboats.

And just because it never gets old: "Highlights" of Riding The Bus With My Sister.

Top Twenty Best Summer Movie Seasons of My Lifetime Ever

2006-05-21T03:00:00.000-07:00

Inspired by a prompt at The Hot Blog. Titles listed in rough order of awesomeness (with movies I saw in the theater in bold):

1. 1989 (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Batman, Dead Poets Society, Ghostbusters II, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, Do the Right Thing, When Harry Met Sally…, The Abyss, The Karate Kid Part III, Turner & Hooch)

2. 1997 (Face/Off, Con Air, Air Force One, The Full Monty, George of the Jungle, My Best Friend’s Wedding, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Breakdown, Contact, The Fifth Element, In the Company of Men, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Hercules, G.I. Jane, Addicted to Love, Men in Black)

3. 1984 (Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Karate Kid, The Muppets Take Manhattan)

4. 1990 (Dick Tracy, Gremlins 2: The New Batch, Back to the Future Part III, Total Recall, Ghost, Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Duck Tales: The Movie, The Freshman, Problem Child, The Witches)

5. 1991 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, The Rocketeer, Thelma and Louise, Madonna: Truth or Dare, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, Problem Child 2, City Slickers, The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear, Backdraft, Point Break, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead)

6. 1994 (Forrest Gump, Speed, True Lies, The Lion King, Wolf, Natural Born Killers, Maverick, The Client, Fear of a Black Hat, The Mask)

7. 2005 (Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Murderball, Batman Begins, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, War of the Worlds, Hustle and Flow, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, Grizzly Man, Cinderella Man, The Island, Mad Hot Ballroom, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Wedding Crashers, Madagascar, March of the Penguins, Bad News Bears, Happy Endings, Me and You and Everyone We Know, The Baxter, The Aristocrats, Pretty Persuasion)

8. 1993 (Jurassic Park, The Fugitive, In the Line of Fire, Dave, Last Action Hero, What’s Love Got to Do With It, Cliffhanger, Much Ado About Nothing, Super Mario Bros.)

9. 2004 (The Terminal, Spider-Man 2, Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, Before Sunset, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Collateral, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Shrek 2, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Napoleon Dynamite, Garden State, The Village, The Day After Tomorrow, I, Robot, Fahrenheit 9/11, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story, The Stepford Wives, Super Size Me, Maria Full of Grace)

10. 2001 (A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Moulin Rouge!, Shrek, Ghost World, crazy/beautiful, The Fast and the Furious, A Knight’s Tale, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, The Anniversary Party, The Princess and the Warrior)

11. 1992 (Batman Returns, A League of Their Own, Sister Act, Death Becomes Her, Alien³, Patriot Games)

12. 1998 (Saving Private Ryan, Out of Sight, The Mask of Zorro, Can’t Hardly Wait, Bulworth, Armageddon, The Truman Show, Blade, He Got Game, The Opposite of Sex, Ever After: A Cinderella Story, Slums of Beverly Hills, There’s Something About Mary)

13. 2003 (Finding Nemo, Capturing the Friedmans, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, Down With Love, Dirty Pretty Things, X2: X-Men United, Bad Boys II, Seabiscuit, Spellbound, Thirteen, Bruce Almighty, The Italian Job)

14. 1996 (Trainspotting, Independence Day, A Very Brady Sequel, Mission: Impossible, The Frighteners, The Cable Guy, Tin Cup, A Time to Kill, Matilda, Kingpin, Twister, The Great White Hype, The Rock, Lone Star, She’s the One)

15. 1988 (Big, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Die Hard, Bull Durham, The Great Outdoors, Short Circuit 2, Big Top Pee-Wee, New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking, Mac and Me)

16. 1995 (Clueless, Apollo 13, Die Hard With a Vengeance, The Usual Suspects, Batman Forever, Babe, Il Postino, Waterworld, Crimson Tide, Nine Months)

17. 1985 (Back to the Future, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, European Vacation, Teen Wolf, The Black Cauldron, Follow That Bird)

18. 1999 (South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, The Thomas Crown Affair, The Sixth Sense, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Tarzan, The Blair Witch Project, Dick, Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, Arlington Road, American Pie)

19. 2000 (Gladiator, X-Men, What Lies Beneath, Bring It On, Mission: Impossible II, Scary Movie, Chicken Run, Hollow Man, Shaft, Road Trip, Coyote Ugly, Shanghai Noon, The Eyes of Tammy Faye, The Tao of Steve)

20. 2002 (Minority Report, Unfaithful, Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones, Austin Powers in Goldmember, About a Boy, The Kid Stays in the Picture, Road to Perdition, Full Frontal, Spider-Man, The Bourne Identity)

20½. 1981 (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

Immigration Sweeps

2006-05-12T18:12:00.000-07:00

Why does it seem like President Bush only plans to address the nation during Sweeps? Does he really think that bumping the season finale of Prison Break or the most powerful person in the world is going to boost his approval ratings?

At least he has the good sense not to make an enemy out of Jack Bauer like a certain other president.

Super Size Free

2006-05-11T01:45:00.000-07:00

Morgan Spurlock strikes again!

Less than a month ago, when NBC announced plans to revive their old sweeps strategy of inflating sit-com running times, their press release billed it as a "SUPER-SIZED COMEDY NIGHT." However, now, their online banner ads refer to the episodes as "extra long," "expanded" and "extended" - pretty much everything short of that gluttonous phrase once so popular at McDonald's until they coincidentally eliminated it just after Spurlock's Super Size Me debuted at Sundance (though this move had "'nothing to do with that (film) whatsoever.'").

I'll leave the phallic double-entendres to Will & Grace for one more week

And on NBC's website, the ~~Super Size~~ extra long episodes of Will & Grace, My Name is Earl and The Office are again referred to as either "Special Extended Episode" or "Special Extended Season Finale."

Oh, I'm on to you, NBC. You can call it whatever you want... I still know that each episode is one-third more fattening than your average portion!

A Simpler Time

2006-05-07T13:19:00.000-07:00

While looking through Box Office Guru's archives, I found this assessment from the turn of the century:

The typically media-shy [Tom] Cruise worked overtime to publicize the blockbuster, which he also produced, granting interviews to morning, daytime, and late night talk shows plus gracing the covers of Vanity Fair and Entertainment Weekly.

Ah, remember when...

I'd also forgotten that Mission: Impossible 2's $57.85 million was, at the time, the third biggest opening weekend of all time. Now that number seems quaint (well, not compared to M:I:III's haul), coming in at number 33 on the (unadjusted for inflation) all time list.

Vanity Fair, June 2000

Wikipedi-huh?

2006-04-24T19:40:00.000-07:00

Here's an SAT question: Tell me which part of this sentence, discussing the "Aaron Burr" "Got Milk?" ad, is wrong:

The ad, directed by Oscar-nominated Hollywood director Michael Bay, dominated the advertising industry's award circuit in 1994. No error

"I'd like to thank the 360 pan..."

A New Approach

2006-04-22T03:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to see American Dreamz. Sandwiched between the trailers for Keeping Up with the Steins and The Break-Up was a new trailer for United 93. Except this wasn't so much a trailer as damage control. There was interview footage with director Paul Greengrass explaining why it's not tasteless to make this movie now, interspliced with interview footage of family members of Flight 93 victims justifying the film. The "trailer" ended with Universal making the same suggestion they do on the movie's website:

You can see it for yourself on the official site if you click on "ENTER THE SITE", then "MENU", then "VIDEO", then "FEATURETTES", then "A LOOK INSIDE".

What's interesting is that I can't ever remember a trailer like this being put in theaters (not as part of the pre-show ads, but with the rest of the coming attractions). You see spots like this all the time on TV (especially in LA, especially around Oscar time) where directors will talk about the "importance" of their films. But as a theatrical trailer? Of course, United 93 is not like any release I can remember. I do not envy the Universal marketing department. The original trailer has already sparked controversy and been pulled from several theaters. Many people are saying it's too soon and in bad taste.

I'm still reserving judgment until I see the film. Which I will (though not on opening weekend - I want the theater to be as empty and quiet as possible). And in some ways, it's hard to judge the marketing campaign without seeing how the film itself is handled. But I will say that the first time I saw the original trailer, people were still getting situated in their seats, talking on cell phones, laughing, conversing casually throughout... all this while actual images of a plane flying at the Twin Towers flashed on the screen. The juxtaposition of the casual movie-going experience with this heavy subject matter made me quite uncomfortable. It's possible that the film itself is not too soon, but an audience has to be primed for it and in the "proper" mood... which is part of why selling it is so tough. You can't prep an unsuspecting audience for the trailer or the TV spot.

Even the unique "trailer" I saw tonight seemed in poor taste when buttressed by two comedy trailers. And even though I haven't read anything about this latest push, I'm assuming that Universal sent it out this weekend attached to prints of American Dreamz. Maybe it's just me, but I felt a little wrong watching the real family members of the Fligth 93 victims tell their stories as I prepared to watch a silly comedy that lampoons terrorists. I don't know why this feels worse than, say, watching a September 11th special on CNN interrupted by cat food commercials... it just does. To me.

(S.O.B.)24

2006-04-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

Now that Arrested Development is missing and presumed dead, it's nice to see former cast members find work on other TV series. George Michael and Maeby on Veronica Mars. ~~Egg~~Ann on Thief. And now, last night on fellow Imagine Television show 24, the Stair Car! Sure, it's had a facelift (gone is the Bluth Company logo), but I'd know it anywhere.

"You're gonna get hop-ons"

(S.O.S.)³

2006-04-17T02:39:00.000-07:00

In what must be a television first, three episodes of three different series, all airing in the same week, all share the same episode title (not including episodes titled "Pilot," of course). Last week's Lost and this week's Medium and Alias are all entitled "S.O.S." The Lost and Alias overlap may not be a coincidence, but Medium? Sure, this isn't necessarily on par with John Munch appearing on three shows in one week (Homicide, Law & Order and The X-Files), but I find it odd nonetheless.

Wikipedi-duh

2006-04-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

To whoever submitted the Wikipedia entry on 50 Cent, was it really necessary to point out his race within the first sentence?

Curtis James Jackson III (born July 6, 1975), commonly known by his rap name as 50 Cent, is a popular African-American gangsta rapper...

Seriously, wouldn't it be easier (and more of note) just to note the race of all the white rappers out there... oh, wait.

Eminem (born Marshall Bruce Mathers III on October 17, 1972) is an American rapper, one of today's most popular and controversial rapping, and a Grammy and Oscar-winner.

And then there's...

Robert Matthew Van Winkle (born October 31, 1968 in Miami Lakes, Florida), better known as Vanilla Ice, is an American rapper, known today for the single "Ice Ice Baby" that topped the charts beginning in the early 1990s (see 1990 in music).

To be fair, ethnicity is a second sentence issue for the two "American rapper"s. It's mentioned that Eminem "is of mostly Scottish-American descent" (though the word "white" isn't used until pretty far down the page) and that "at the time," Vanilla Ice "was also one of the very few successful Caucasian rappers."

I don't know, I just thought that was interesting.

Oh, and if you're looking for the U.S. currency value, see Half dollar (United States coin).

Happy Belated Crash Day (or April Fool's Day II)!

2006-04-05T03:31:00.000-07:00

"Oh, you shouldn't have..."

I can't believe I forgot it was Crash Day until late Crash Day evening. But since my racist boss refused to give me Crash Day off, I was too busy to remember. And apparently, God (or Xenu?) hates Crash Day, because today was an especially dreary, rainy day in a city usually known for its glorious, sunny weather and rampant, in-your-face racism.

And He's (It's?) not the only one who hates Crash Day... some (irony-loving) Grinchy protestors actually tried to crash the Crash Day festivities! Who were these Crash Day Scrooges? Gays upset that Crash "stole" Brokeback Mountain's "rightful" Oscar (not to mention its DVD thunder, since Lionsgate released the Crash Director's Cut Edition (now with 10% more ~~condescension~~ ~~simplicity~~ ~~stereotypes~~ Oscar-winning brilliance!) on the same day as Brokeback hit Wal-Mart shelves)? Minorities upset that every stereotype of them was confirmed in the movie? Whites upset that a ~~Salvadoran~~ ~~Puerto Rican~~ Mexican-American was Mayor and not locksmith? Psychlos sent by Terl upset that a Scientologist was spreading the truth about thetans? Moviegoers With Taste upset that such a heavy-handed, schlocky, fetid movie was being feted by the city? Angelenos upset that our mayor thinks that "Yes, this is our Los Angeles"?

Uh, no. They were just some "union members seeking a new contract with the city." Probably Italian.

Anyway, I didn't let these racist union members rain on my Crash Day celebrations (I was powerless to stop God (Xenu?) from doing same)! Actually, the rain helped as I managed to get into three car accidents (thank you God (Xenu?)!)... all caused by Asian women drivers, natch. Then I got carjacked by a pair of African-Americans who told me that not all African-Americans are car-jackers. Some of them are drug addicts. Then I called them both the N-word. Surprisingly, they didn't take it nearly as well as Don Cheadle did when William Fichtner called him that. Then I shot three little Mexican girls (two of them with blanks). I put on a cop uniform and molested a woman (I think she was African-American, though she was pretty light-skinned). Finally, I shoved a rich white woman down the stairs so her maid could teach her that racism is wrong.

So, pretty much like any other day in Los Angeles.

How'd you celebrate Crash Day?

mE!ow

2006-04-04T15:23:00.000-07:00

I love the passive-aggression in this "news" item from E! Online:

[Chad Michael] Murray, 24, is set to tie the knot for a second time with a cheerleading extra on his WB series, 18-year-old Kenzie Dalton, People reports. It'll presumably be the first marriage for Dalton.

Ha! 'Cause she's 18!

No comment yet from Murray's alter-avatar.

April Fool's Day of the Dead

2006-04-01T13:53:00.000-08:00

At first glance, did anybody else think this headline was an April Fool's joke?

The More You Know

2006-03-31T13:05:00.000-08:00

I know I love you, Pam

How great were those in-character The Office PSAs NBC ran last night? I'm kind of shocked (and impressed) NBC actually put them on the air at the risk of dilluting their 17-year-old, Emmy Award-winning "The More You Know" campaign and confusing viewers.

In fact, I'll admit that when I first saw the Timothy Treadwell-esque Dwight spot, I thought for about two seconds it might be real. Yes, I'm gullible.

"We need Rainn! Downy is hungry, Tabitha is hungry!
Melissa is eating her babies!"

Anyway, check them all out. And prepare to learn a lot about CDW.

It's like, you know...

Also, just because I can't remember the last time TV made me laugh out loud this hard, I present the following quote from Kelly (delivered perfectly by Mindy Kaling):

I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever...

That and my sister's.

Ace's Faces

2006-03-30T01:30:00.000-08:00

Is it just me?

Like, woah!

Arrested Developments

2006-03-29T13:11:00.000-08:00

Well, there's good news and bad news in Bluthland.

First, the bad news:

By now, we all know that creator/exec producer/genius mastermind Mitch Hurwitz has called it quits, effectively doing what the FOX network could never do on its own - killing Arrested Development. As disappointed as I am, I have to respect Hurwitz' choice and just be thankful that he gave us 53 magical half-hours of television. And hey, at least now I don't have to shell out for that Showtime subscription!

More good news:

Tonight, everyone's favorite kissing cousins George Michael (no, not that one) and Maeby - Michael Cera and Alia Shawkat - both guest star on UPN's Veronica Mars! In a fun bit of Tommy Westphallian incest, you may recall that on one of Arrested Development's final episodes (the more incestuous than usual - thanks to the Bateman siblings - "Family Ties"), "George Michael asks Maeby if she wants to watch a DVD, but the name of the DVD is bleeped. Subtitles reveal that under the bleeping was a 'reference to off-network high school private eye drama censored by FOX.'" Ah, cross-network pollination. Is there anything more beautiful?

Finally, some good news/bad news:

Apparently, Tony Hale (Buster Bluth) appears in the new "movie" Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector. While it's nice to see the brilliantly talented Hale getting work (besides those Citibank ads), I can't help but wonder what Hale's TV adopted-brother-in-law (and Larry the Cable Guy arch nemesis) David Cross thinks. Or what his Doppelgänger thinks. Hopefully this won't cause a rift in the highly functional Bluth family.

Subliminal Mess-Up

2006-03-28T22:18:00.000-08:00

Almost a year ago exactly, American Idol "accidentally" displayed the wrong phone numbers during the end-of-episode recap. Well, to mark the anniversary, they did it again tonight... briefly.

During Mandisa's performance, her name and number flashed across the screen, though over a random strip of violin footage from the orchestra rather than the traditional blue backdrop with the Cingular logo:

Sexy and violins

Then, for less than a second, it switched to the blue Cingular backdrop we all know and love... while subliminally plugging Taylor Hicks and his phone number:

Did Taylor dye his hair or something? He looks different somehow...

Quickly, the Chyron dissolved back to Mandisa's information (still over the violin) for just over a second before vanishing completely.

I'm guessing FOX probably won't bother re-airing tonight's episode with the correct Chyron tomorrow night, since Unan1mous actually seems to be doing well in the ratings. Though I do wonder why they couldn't have corrected this mistake between the live broadcast on the East Coast and the West Coast broadcast.

UPDATED:
Now with video:

UPDATED AGAIN:
Or not... YouTube has removed the video as a result of "a third-party notification claiming that this material is infringing." While technically, legally, this may be true, and this blog does not claim to be above the law, one has to wonder what sort of damages a mere ten second clip could cause... especially while (at least for the moment) all these other Idol clips are still online at You Tube, many of them longer and posted before my clip.

Betamaxed Out

2006-03-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official: Betamax is dead.

I've just discovered that my Microsoft Word spell checker doesn't recognize the word "Betamax."

"Laserdisc," however, it knows. For the time being...

It just dies

Will & Restraint

2006-03-23T23:39:00.000-08:00

I'd like to nominate Will & Grace for a special Emmy for doing an entire episode about a gay cowboy bar without a single reference to Brokeback Mountain (not even a "Just Jack? Just Jack Nasty!"). Pretty impressive.

Also impressive - NBC apparently ran something of a Shohreh Aghdashloo theme night, featuring the brilliant actress on both Will & Grace and ER. Sadly, I didn't learn of her stint in the ER until it was too late, and I'm afraid she's not quite as adept at comedy as she is at heart-breaking drama (to be fair, it wasn't the best written special guest role ever on the show), but still... bravo, NBC.

Now if only 24 could stop killing characters off long enough to bring Dina Araz back from the dead.

Crash and Burn

2006-03-10T16:37:00.000-08:00

"In There Deep":

"It's the sense of touch... In L.A., nobody touches you... I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."

So, Crash. Best Picture. That happened.

Unlike many people out there, I wasn't really upset. If anything, I was a little amused. I chose to look at it, not as Crash winning, but as Brokeback Mountain losing. I happen to think they're both pretentious, mediocre, ultimately vapid movies that have had way too much importance ascribed to them by people all-too-eager to see what they wanted to see – The Emperor's New Best Picture Nominees. So I was rooting for neither one to take home the prize. However, I knew that it was going to be one or the other, so I spent some time before the Awards debating which was the lesser (or should I say "greater?") of two mediocrities?

My biggest problem with Crash is that it fails to reflect the realities of racial tensions and the realities of the way that real people interact with one another in Los Angeles in the year 2005. A part of me wondered, as I left the theater, whether or not Haggis and co. actually intended to make a very hyper-real film – almost a satire. Yet, in all the undeserved praise I've heard lavished upon this movie – both from admirers and the people who made it – I think Haggis is just that divorced from reality (I'm not the first to point out that this was clearly foreshadowed by the horribly one-dimensional, stereotypical portrayal of a redneck family in his Million Dollar Baby).

My problems with Brokeback are manifold, but they primarily stem from my inability to buy that Jack and Ennis were in love. Maybe this is me applying my modern views or my urban views or my heterosexual views to a decidedly non-modern, non-urban and (debatably) non-heterosexual "love" story (I can't decide whether it's a very progressive thing or a very unprogressive thing that I've heard no uproar from the gay community that this "monumental" film was entirely written by, directed by and acted by heterosexuals). Maybe I was mislead by the pre-release hype (I really need to see it for a second time, knowing what to (and what not to) expect). Whatever the reasons, I just couldn't get invested emotionally in the film's central "love" story (or "lust story"). Aside from (or because of) that, I found the whole movie rather slow and tedious and redundant (much like its Academy Award-winning score). Throw in some truly atrocious, laugh-out-loud dialogue, embarrassing aging makeup and a bad Sling Blade impression, and well, no amount of pretty Canadian landscapes is gonna convince me this is the Best Picture of the year.

So, given the choice between a movie that doesn't work in relation to the real world (and may in fact do more harm than good) but does kinda work as a movie and a movie that has its heart in the right place but doesn't work (for me) as a movie, I'd have to give the Oscar to the movie that works (more or less) as a movie. More than that, if I were to be stranded on an island with only one of these two movies, I think I could bear more repeat viewings of Crash before taking my own life than of Brokeback. It just seems more "watchable."

And as insufferable (and inexplicable) as Crash fanatics are (what happened to Roger Ebert?), Brokeback's champions are even more self-righteous. It was like the second coming of The Passion of the Christ. A religious experience. I don't for a second question the sincerity of its adherents, though I do believe, as with The Passion, Brokeback served a severely underrepresented portion of the population and reflected a true dearth of something (be it Christianity or a gay romance) in the marketplace. In this non-Christian, non-gay's eyes, both audiences were so starved (and rightly so) for that something that they over-praised movies that didn't truly deserve it.

The thing that really bothered me was this pervasive attitude that attacking – or even not liking – this movie made one a homophobe. The same thing happened with critics of Schindler's List being called anti-Semitic or critics of The Passion being called anti-Christian. Sure, many of Brokeback's admirers were more tolerant than this, but as in most situations, the most vocal were the most extremist.

Granted, there were many people who hated this movie because they hate gays… but then, I feel confident in saying that most of them refused to even see the film before judging it. But in some people's eyes, someone like me, who was ready and willing to be wowed by this movie and wasn't wowed, is lumped in with crackpot homophobes like Ann Coulter. Sure, for a moment the company makes me question my position, but I think of it as like when Osama bin Laden came out to endorse John Kerry. I didn't like being on the same side as him, but I'd be damned if I was going to let him influence my vote one way or the other.

This "If you're not with us, you're against us" campaign vocalized by Brokeback fanatics continued after it lost Best Picture to Crash. Suddenly, the Academy (which had seen fit to bestow the most nominations of any movie this year on Brokeback, had nominated Capote for Best Picture, given Philip Seymour Hoffman an Oscar for playing a character who happened to be gay, nominated the even-gayer-than-Brokeback Transamerica for two awards) was filled with homophobes. That could be the only explanation possible for not voting for Brokeback (no word on if Munich and Good Night, and Good Luck were also too gay for the Academy).

Whispers abound that many (presumably older) voters refused to even see Brokeback because of its content. If that's true, then that's reprehensible and those voters should turn in their Academy memberships. If you can't (or won't) see all the films nominated (especially the five Best Picture nominees) you have no business voting (though I'm sure many voters every year fail to see all nominated films). That said, I wonder how many voters refused to see Munich because they heard it was favorable to terrorists or anti-Israel. Or how many suffered epileptic fits during the opening of Moulin Rouge! and failed to see it through to the end. Or how many popped out the tape of Pulp Fiction because of the language. Or the tape of Goodfellas because of the violence. Or how many died of boredom while watching Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. Again, none of this should forgive actual homophobes in the Academy who refused to screen the movie out of bigotry. I'm just suggesting that there's never a level-playing field when it comes to awards that are entirely based on subjective, personal tastes.

So, yeah, I took some joy in seeing the undefeated champ blowing it in the big game (now I know how all those Texas fans felt after the Rose Bowl – or to be more precise, how all those Bruins fans felt). Sure when I look back at the movie that won Best Picture in 2005 I'll be a little disgusted… but at least I'll have lots of company.

Oscar, Mayor: Winners

2006-03-07T13:53:00.000-08:00

Best Tourism Campaign Ever:

And the film did get a little hometown push, including from Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.

He "was wonderful to us," Haggis says. "He really embraced the film. He said 'Yes, this is our Los Angeles.' "

That's right, tourists... come to L.A. where you too can get carjacked, shot (with blanks, of course), diddled by a racist cop, pulled from a flaming car wreck by said racist cop and called vicious racial epithets to your face by media relations consultants! All the glamour of the movies, come to life!

Oh Snap!

2006-03-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

Spielberg had me worried there for a minute. But all is as it should be:

I asked him about "Indiana Jones 4." What’s up?

I said: “George Lucas told me recently that there’s a script and he’s happy with the story.”

Spielberg: “George Lucas isn’t the director. I am.”

Oh snap!

A Few Thoughts Before I Crash

2006-03-06T02:00:00.000-08:00

How much did Jack Nicholson have to pay to get seated next to Keira Knightley?

Usually the previous year's Best Supporting Actress presents Best Supporting Actor, so where was Cate Blanchett? Sneaky that they replaced her with Nicole Kidman who was reportedly originally supposed to play Blanchett's Oscar-winning role in The Aviator. Which brings me to this odd bit of trivia: In the past two years, two of the voices Anthony Hopkins used to create his Oscar-winning portrayal of Hannibal Lecter have been immitated by actors also going on to win Oscars - Blanchett as Katharine Hepburn and Philip Seymour Hoffman as Truman Capote. Early bets for next year's awards should be on whoever plays HAL 9000 in a biopic.

The music underscoring acceptance speeches from the start? A horrible idea. Almost as bad as last year's presenting in the aisles fiasco.

When Jon Stewart made that Scientology crack, why didn't the cameras cut to a celebrated Scientologist like Academy Award-winner Paul Haggis or John Travolta? After all, they cut to Jamie Foxx whenever anybody said the word "black."

I can't wait to see Crash: The Musical live on stage! Though I have to say, without the (Academy Award-winning) nail-on-the-head dialogue, I had trouble understanding that racism is bad. However, that musical number was ridiculous and over-the-top and thus the perfect tribute to the (Academy Award-winning) film that inspired it. Also, I want to give an Emmy to whomever cut to the close-up of faux-(Academy Award-nominee)Matt Dillon finger-synching faux-Thandie Newton. That they can show on TV, but Taraji P. Henson had to sing "A whole lot of witches jumpin' ship?"

Speaking of the luminous (and tragically un-nominated) Taraji P. Henson, I was pleasantly surprised to see that she was brave enough to perform tonight (unlike Terrence Howard - who must've understandably had other things on his mind). Sadly, (Academy Award-winners) Three 6 Mafia's performance didn't do justice to the song and probably left everyone who hasn't seen Hustle & Flow wondering how it ever won Best Song. When "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" is performed in the movie, it's an exhilirating scene of inspiration and passion, surpassing even the great sequences in Ray and Walk the Line where the legends give birth to "Hit the Road Jack" and "Folsom Prison Blues" respectively. Those characters recite those lyrics with such intensity and emotion and rawness that the moment transcends the song itself. Even listening to Howard and Henson on the soundtrack, divorced from the visuals and context, the song doesn't sound half as good as it did in the theater. That shouldn't take away from its Oscar win (AP headlines to the contrary) - it's nice to see a song that's truly integrated into (and integral to) the movie (I believe the film school term is "diegetic") win as opposed to the end credit tack-ons that usually dominate this category. Still, unless I missed it (which is entirely possible), Jordan Houston, Cedric Coleman and Paul Beauregard thanked Jamie Foxx but neither Terrence Howard nor Taraji P. Henson to whom they truly owe their win (the official transcript thinks they said "George Clooney" and not "Jamie Foxx," but still no mention of Howard or Henson - except Howard is noted in their "SPECIAL ONLINE THANKS" section).

What was with all the montages? It's never been this bad or incoherent (and I'm usually a fan of the Chuck Workman Oscar montages). They just kept getting more and more random, culminating in the genre of "Movies That Look Good on the Big Screen (AND NOT DVD!!!)." But all was redeemed, when, during the "Important Issue Movies" montage they included a clip from the iconoclastic classic Day After Tomorrow! Man, Fox's marketing of that movie as a serious political statement about global warming really stuck! My theory is that they included it just so they could have a shot of water over-taking a city, followed by somebody saying something about the director of FEMA. Whatever the motivation, I was thrilled. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, Network and The Day After Tomorrow... all woefully ahead of their times.

Wondering: When Larry McMurtry mentioned "The Golden Globes" in his speech, was that the first time those words had ever been uttered on the Academy's stage? I know they like to pretend they're the only game in town. Oh, and what kind of sedatives were he and Diana Ossana on?

As if Crash's wins weren't painful enough, we had to sit through the orchestra's awful, operatic rendition of "In the Deep" every time.

Academy Award-winner Paul Haggis' acceptance speech for Best Original Screenplay perfectly illustrated his writing style. "Bertolt Brecht said that art is not a mirror, but it is a hammer." So that's why - rather than accurately reflect real life and the way that real people really speak to one another and how subtle and veiled, yet none-the-less corrosive, racism really pervades our real society - he used a hammer to hammer his "message" into the heads of viewers. It's all so preclear now! Give this man an Oscar! Hell, give him two!

So Ang Lee thanked the fictional characters from his movie... but not the actors who played them? Whoops! Guess Academy voters weren't the only ones to snub Heath, Jake and Michelle tonight.

Ironic that in a year when the recurring theme seemed to be "Big Screen, Good. DVD, Bad," the Best Picture won thanks to blanketing all of Hollywood with shiny little discs.

Why wasn't Don Cheadle in attendance? Was he bitter that he wasn't listed as one of the nominated producers for Crash? Was he bitter that Matt Dillon got to molest Thandie Newton and get an Oscar nomination for it?

I've got more to say about Academy Award-winning Best Picture Crash, but it'll have to wait until I get some sleep.

Black People Steal, White People Win

2006-03-05T22:07:00.000-08:00

Did the AP learn nothing from Katrina? Or at least take away the profound (albeit subtle) message of this year's Best Picture winner that racism isn't good?

Grumble Grumble

2006-03-05T14:13:00.000-08:00

My last minute Oscar predictions are up. I'm not really certain about much, except that I'm going to be disappointed for much of the evening. If I were a braver man, I would predict wins for Crash (Best Picture), Felicity Huffman, Matt Dillon, Michelle Williams, Dan Futterman, Murderball, Star Wars (Makeup) and "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." But I'm not that brave.

Good Night, and Good Luck... especially to Munich, Steven Spielberg, Joaquin Phoenix, Terrence Howard, Frances McDormand, Tony Kushner and Eric Roth, Murderball, Street Fight, Cashback and Six Shooter.

Lake v. Peterson

2006-03-01T02:32:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite parts of any new Amazing Race season is the nicknames that teams bestow upon one another before they learn everyone's real names. And this season premiere did not disappoint! Among the early sobriquets: "The Frosties," "The Hippies," "Ken & Barbie," "The Ho's," "The Einstein Couple," "Double D," "Mom & Daughter," "The Gay Guys," "Frat Boys" and "That Black Girl" (not to be confused with The Black Family).

But, by far, the greatest moniker of the night was offered by Jo (of "MoJo" fame), who called Lake Garner "Scott Peterson!"

"I'm sorry. That was... partially my fault really."

While there's no doubt Lake is the most likely to murder his pregnant wife and dump her body in the ocean, personally, I think he looks more like another jailbird...

Check out that air guitar!

Anyway, I'm just waiting for somebody to call these douchebags "Jeric"

Top Ten Best Reasons Brokeback Mountain Shouldn't Win Best Adapted Screenplay Ever

2006-02-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

1. “Jack Twist? Jack Nasty!”
2. “I wish I knew how to quit you.”
3. “And I’m not you, I can’t make it on a couple of high-altitude fucks once or twice a year.”
4. “You know, friend... This is a Goddam bitch of an unsatisfactory situation.”
5. “So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain.”
6. “Son of a horsin’ bitch.” Or “Son of a whore’s son bitch.”
7. “That Brokeback got us good, don’t it?”
8. “Is it somebody you cowboyed with, or what?”
9. “What I don’t know, all them things that I don’t know, could get you killed if I come to know them.”
10. “If you pair of deuces are lookin’ for work, I suggest you get your scrawny asses in here, pronto.”
10½. “You know your friend could come inside, have a cup of coffee.” “Oh he’s from Texas.”

Dunk Nut

2006-02-27T00:19:00.000-08:00

In the category of things I suffer through so you don't have to, I present this snippet of a conversation between two of the most noxious personalities ever to grace a TV set, Rita Cosby and Brian Dunkleman:

COSBY: And do you still stay in touch with any of the folks from the show?

DUNKLEMAN: No, I don't. You know, I called Randy Jackson a couple years ago to wish him a happy Martin Luther King Day, and I never heard back from him, so...

COSBY: Well, thank you very much for being with us, Brian. We appreciate it. And we'll look at IdolGohome.com. Thanks so much for being with us.

Now that I've seemingly solved the case of Jamie Foxx's involvement with "Gold Digger," my new mission is to unravel the mystery of how Rita Cosby - a woman with the most irritating voice in the world, a not-particularly-attractive face, zero journalistic integrity, endless fascination with unimportant "news stories" and horribly insensitive interviewing "technique" - is allowed to be on television.

Crazy Like a Foxx

2006-02-25T01:02:00.000-08:00

Does he think he's blind now, too? No wonder he always wears sunglasses indoors.

I've been meaning to post this for a while. You see, I thought I had reached Détente with Jamie Foxx. When last we checked in with him, it appeared he had finally given up his Ray Charles schtick. It appeared. I was ready to move on. He wasn't.

So, a couple weeks ago, just before The Grammys, I turned on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Jamie Foxx was the guest. This is some of what he had to say:

I’m gonna tell you why this CD is number one. For one, we did a movie called Ray Charles [sic]. And when we did Ray Charles [sic], a young man by the name of Kanye West who is so genius and myself and Kanye are kinda like the Batman and Robin of number one songs [shouldn't he say "Kanye and myself" because honestly, in that analogy, Jamie Foxx is Robin at best], you know, and after we did that, Kanye was looking at the movie when we were doin’ [sings:]“Well, I got a woman, uh uh, way over town, uh uh, that’s good to me.” And he took this “She take my money, uh, uh…” so he took that and made a special hook called “Gold Digger” as you know, [sings:]“I’m not saying she’s a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no…” you know the rest…

Okay, so he still doesn't solve the mystery of who sings on the "Gold Digger" hook. Though this article from MTV News might (via Wikipedia):

"He did that beat a while before the movie ['Ray'] was even thought of," West's A&R rep, Patrick "Plain Pat" Reynolds, said of the song many [including, apparently, Jamie Foxx] thought was conceived after West saw Foxx's Oscar-winning performance as Ray Charles.

...

The idea to make Jamie Foxx a part of "Gold Digger," which had initially used a sample of Ray Charles' "I Got a Woman," came after West went to see "Ray" with his friend John Mayer.

"It was the natural thing," Pat explained. "If we couldn't clear the sample, we were going to use Jamie. There's actually a version with Jamie singing all the way through the song. It's good, but it didn't feel the same because we had to replay the instruments too.

So, there you go. Finally!

Anyway, back to Jamie and Ellen:

Yeah, so that’s why it’s so special that it’s number one because Ray’s album came out, after he passed away, it was the number one album in the country without a number one song. And this album is the number one album in the country without a number one song. So it’s because of that.

Um, what?

Ellen responds:

That's incredible.

Uh, yeah. It certainly is. Incredible.

Jamie to Ellen:

Thank you.

Then later, Ellen brings up how he's up for a Grammy. He makes it sound as though he's up for more than one:

We were nominated for “Slow Jamz”, but this one is… I mean “Gold Digger”’s like the national anthem right now. So it’s up for, like, you know, Best Song of the Year [actually, it was up for Record of the Year and Best Rap Solo Performance, not Song of the Year, but that's an easy mistake to make] and also we did a tribute to Luther Vandross and so we’re up for Best Male R&B Vocal Performance [that category, he got right].

Now, he never outright says that he is nominated for his work on "Gold Digger" (he wasn't), but he certainly implies it.

Oh, and one last exhumation of his Ray Charles persona: Near the end of his performance of "Unpredictable" he tosses in this line:

I'm gonna make it do what it do, baby

Anything but unpredictable. Oh, and I just discovered that there's a song on his album called "Do What It Do."

Anatomically Incorrect Dolly

2006-02-15T19:08:00.000-08:00

Unfortunate Chyron of the night:

That'll be one hell of a reduction surgery...

[Ed. note - It is pure coincidence that this post follows this one.]

Friends in Low Places

2006-02-15T11:39:00.000-08:00

Friends may be long over, but its lawsuit lives on:

Justice Joyce L. Kennard appeared to find it significant that Warner Bros. had told Lyle to expect "a lot of sexual talk, very frank talk and at times vulgar" language. "She said, 'No problem,' " Kennard related.

Chief Justice Ronald M. George also noted that Lyle had been warned of "sexual banter" before she was hired.

But Scott O. Cummings, who represented Lyle, said she was never cautioned that one of the writers would be "drawing a woman's vagina and making jokes about it."

What would've been really vulgar would've been if they'd drawn pictures of a man's vagina.

Also, I wonder what clever wordplay Greg Malins could foist upon Ms. Lyle's lawyer's name...

Blow Hard

2006-02-15T03:42:00.000-08:00

We have an early front-runner to be this year's Tom Cruise and Jump The Couch (though he probably won't be doing it on Oprah):

Bruce Willis!

Happy TValentine's Day!

2006-02-13T23:45:00.000-08:00

Valentines are up over at SMRT-TV. These are some of mine that didn't make the cut (obviously, I have far too many TV crushes and not enough of a life):

A Little Less Super Bowl

2006-02-06T02:17:00.000-08:00

How could Warner Bros. not place an ad for Superman Returns during the SUPER Bowl? Maybe the expense wasn't worth it for a movie that everyone is sure to be aware of anyway... but come on!

Not So Predictable After All

2006-02-01T04:14:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I finally made it all the way through Jamie Foxx: Unpredictable. And well... I owe Jamie Foxx an apology. He made it through the entire hour-long special without once mentioning Ray Charles. And the only time he invoked the late singer at all was when he sang a snippet of "I Got a Woman," leading into the introduction of "Gold Digger" (for the record, this came at the 22 minute mark). Then he introduced a special guest... Snoop Dogg? So alas, no live performance of "Gold Digger" or its mysterious hook.

I guess this means Foxx's year-long (and then some) one man tribute band is finally as dead as the Original Famous Ray. I already kinda miss it...

Who would've thought that his special would feature more skits featuring an actress playing his sassy grandmother, more pregnant women on stage, more shots of crying women in the audience or more attempts by Foxx to squinch his eyes tight and force out a tear during the emotional finale than mentions of Brother Ray? Certainly not me.

I was way off. I'm sorry. I guess I should stick to predicting Academy Award nominations, which I did quite well this year (if I do type so myself).

I got 72½ (I'm counting the wrong song from Hustle & Flow as half right) out of 95 overall (for 76% accuracy) and in the so-called "Top Eight" categories, I called 36 out of 40 (90%), including all of the Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress and Best Adapted Screenplay nominees. Still, I'm most proud (if one can be proud of something so lame as Oscar prognosticating) of going 4 for 5 in the usually impossible categories of Best Documentary Feature and Best Foreign Language Film (the latter with very little information to guess on).

E!'s Flux Pas

2006-01-31T07:28:00.000-08:00

As always, E! proves they're on the ball when it comes to awards:

Actually E!, Reese was nominated for Just Like Heaven, Keira for Domino, Felicity for Desperate Housewives and Judi for GoldenEye: Rogue Agent

Nominations That Make Me Happy

2006-01-31T06:55:00.000-08:00

The ones that were far from sure things:

Munich (and each of its well-deserved nominations), Frances McDormand, Tim Burton's first Academy Award nomination ever, Gabriella Pescucci's nomination for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's costumes, Murderball, all of the Best Song nominees are not only tolerable, but actually good, especially "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp!"

If I Picked The Oscars

2006-01-31T01:52:00.000-08:00

Best Picture
Batman Begins
King Kong
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Munich
Murderball

Best Director
Tim Burton, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Curtis Hanson, In Her Shoes
Peter Jackson, King Kong
Andrew Niccol, Lord of War
Steven Spielberg, Munich

Best Actor
Russell Crowe, Cinderella Man
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
Terrence Howard, Hustle & Flow
Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line
David Strathairn, Good Night, and Good Luck

Best Actress
Toni Collette, In Her Shoes
Felicity Huffman, Transamerica
Charlize Theron, North Country
Naomi Watts, King Kong
Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line

Best Supporting Actor
Clifton Collins Jr., Capote
Ciarán Hinds, Munich
Richard Jenkins, North Country
Heath Ledger, Lords of Dogtown
Mickey Rourke, Sin City

Best Supporting Actress
Dakota Fanning, War of the Worlds
Taraji P. Henson, Hustle & Flow
Lisa Kudrow, Happy Endings
Frances McDormand, North Country
Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain

Best Original Screenplay
Woody Allen, Match Point
Craig Brewer, Hustle & Flow
Steve Carell and Judd Apatow, The 40 Year Old Virgin
George Clooney and Grant Heslov, Good Night, and Good Luck
Simon Kinberg, Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Best Adapted Screenplay
John August, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Dan Futterman, Capote
David S. Goyer and Christopher Nolan, Batman Begins
Susannah Grant, In Her Shoes
Tony Kushner and Eric Roth, Munich

Best Animated Feature
Corpse Bride
Madagascar

Best Foreign Language Film
Kung Fu Hustle
Paradise Now

Best Documentary Feature
Grizzly Man
Inside Deep Throat
Mad Hot Ballroom
March of the Penguins
Murderball

Best Art Direction
Rick Carter, Munich
Nigel Phelps, The Island
Grant Major, King Kong
Alex McDowell, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Alex McDowell, Corpse Bride

Best Visual Effects
The Island
King Kong
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Best Costume Design
Colleen Atwood, Memoirs of a Geisha
Trisha Biggar, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Gabriella Pescucci, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Terry Ryan, King Kong
Oliver Wong, Kung Fu Hustle

Best Makeup
Sin City
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Transamerica

Best Editing
Michael Kahn, Munich
Michael Kahn, War of the Worlds
Angie Lam, Kung Fu Hustle
Jamie Selkirk, King Kong
Michael Tronick, Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Best Cinematography
Janusz Kaminski, Munich
Andrew Lesnie & Derek Whipple, King Kong
Emmanuel Lubezki, The New World
Amir M. Mokri, Lord of War
Robert Rodriguez, Sin City

Best Sound
Jarhead
King Kong
Munich
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
War of the Worlds

Best Sound Editing
King Kong
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
War of the Worlds

Best Original Score
Danny Elfman, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Danny Elfman, Corpse Bride
James Newton Howard, King Kong
James Newton Howard and Hans Zimmer, Batman Begins
John Williams, Munich

Best Original Song
“In the Deep," Crash
“It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp,” Hustle & Flow
“So Long & Thanks for All the Fish," The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Travelin' Thru," Transamerica
"Wonka's Welcome Song," Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Just for the Record...

2006-01-31T01:30:00.000-08:00

My last minute Academy Awards nominations predictions are up over at The Oscar Grouch.

As anyone who's visited that site in the last couple months has noticed, I have not been very active this Oscar season. Or active. There are many reasons for this, not the least of which is that I'm not too excited about the presumptive awards-hogs this year. I didn't think any of them were horrible, or even bad. But they're just not my cup of tea.

I think Brokeback Mountain and Crash are both decent movies, but they're not anywhere near as great or revolutionary as people are making them out to be. I thought The Constant Gardener, A History of Violence and Syriana were all pretty good, but they didn't stick to my bones. I respect Good Night, and Good Luck quite a bit, but I can't say I enjoyed it. Capote and Walk the Line are both very good, but again, they didn't leave a lasting impression on me.

And then there's Munich... whose misunderstanding and awards snubs have been even more frustrating to me than the undeserved praise lavished upon Brokeback and Crash. Munich is so far and away the best film of this crop, and yet, every precursor award announcement has been a painful smack down of my hopes. I think following this awards season too closely might've been as excruciating as rewatching this year's Rose Bowl game or the 2004 election results.

So anyway, here are my predictions... I didn't give them too much thought or analysis, though I did shuffle a few names around just before posting (at the last minute, I traded out Russell Crowe for Hustle & Flow). We'll see how I did in a couple of hours.

If I Picked The Razzies

2006-01-30T04:31:00.000-08:00

Once again, The Razzies miss the mark. Although a great concept in theory, The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation has, in recent years, become even more political than the Academy it parodies. It's not about the movies... it's about trashing easy targets like popstars (Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Lopez) and tabloid fodder (Paris Hilton, Katie Holmes, Tara Reid, Tom Cruise) whether or not they're deserving (personally, I believe Cruise's work in War of the Worlds was all the more incredible because he made me forget what a nut he was in real life -- if there is a Razzie-worth performance in that film, it has to be Tim Robbins'). And 14 of my Top 15 Worst Movies of 2005 were completely shut out!

So, I present my choices for the worst of the worst. Sadly, many of this years' bad movies were quite forgettable, so I may be leaving out some note-worthy performances (it's hard to single out any one performance from Cursed or D.E.B.S. when all I can remember is that I hated those movies). Drumroll please...

Worst Picture
Cursed
D.E.B.S.
Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Fantastic Four
Stealth

Worst Director
Mike Binder, The Upside of Anger
Rob Cohen, Stealth
Darren Grant, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Michael Haneke, Caché
Tim Story, Fantastic Four

Worst Screenplay
Peter A. Dowling and Billy Ray, Flightplan
Ehren Kruger, The Brothers Grimm
Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana, Brokeback Mountain
Tyler Perry, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
W. D. Richter, Stealth

Worst Actor
Orlando Bloom, Kingdom of Heaven
Ice Cube, xXx: State of the Union
Ioan Gruffudd, Fantastic Four
Josh Lucas, Stealth
Paul Walker, Into the Blue

Worst Actress
Jennifer Aniston, Rumor Has It...
Devon Aoki/Jordana Brewster/Meagan Good/Sara Foster/Jill Ritchie, D.E.B.S.
Jessica Biel, Stealth
Kimberly Elise, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Ziyi Zhang, Memoirs of a Geisha

Worst Supporting Actor
Mike Binder, The Upside of Anger
Michael Chiklis, Fantastic Four
Willem Dafoe, xXx: State of the Union
Extreme Deep Invader (EDI), Stealth
Jamie Foxx, Stealth
Steve Harris, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Werner Herzog, Grizzly Man
Tyler Perry, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Richard Roxburgh, Stealth
Mark Ruffalo, Rumor Has It...
Jason Schwartzman, Shopgirl
Scott Speedman, xXx: State of the Union

Worst Supporting Actress
Hope Davis, Proof
Fionnula Flanagan, Transamerica
Lisa Marcos, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Tyler Perry, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Jessica Simpson, The Dukes of Hazzard

Worst Remake or Sequel
Elektra
The Honeymooners
The Legend of Zorro
The Ring Two
xXx: State of the Union

Worst Screen Couple
Jessica Alba & Ioan Gruffudd, Fantastic Four
Jessica Alba & Paul Walker, Into the Blue
Jennifer Aniston & Mark Ruffalo, Rumor Has It...
Mike Binder & Erika Christensen, The Upside of Anger
Hayden Christensen & Natalie Portman, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
EDI & The Refueling Station, Stealth
Kimberly Elise & Steve Harris, Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Jake Gyllenhaal & Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain
Jake Gyllenhaal & Gwyneth Paltrow, Proof
Steve Martin & Claire Danes & Jason Schwartzman, Shopgirl

Very Funny

2006-01-29T02:49:00.000-08:00

For the first time, TNT and TBS are simulcasting live the Screen Actors Guild Awards. But if they're both showing the same show, why is it rated TV-PG on TBS and TV-14 on TNT? Is it the Closed Captioning that makes TNT's broadcast more raunchy? Or just the age-old double standard when it comes to comedy vs. drama?

Legally Gold

2006-01-27T01:51:00.000-08:00

I haven't gotten around to tabulating the number of "Ray Charles" references yet, but I did add up the Emmy pedigree of the cast of the most recent episode of Boston Legal. Between series regulars Rene Auberjonois (2 noms), William Shatner (3 noms, 2 wins), James Spader (2 noms, 2 wins) and Candice Bergen (7 noms, 5 wins) and guest actors Joanna Cassidy (1 nom), Michael J. Fox (9 noms, 4 wins) and Betty White (15 noms, 4 wins), I count 38 nominations and 17 wins. Which is especially impressive because only 2 of those noms and 2 of those wins were actually for work on Boston Legal. That's gotta be some kind of record, right?

Beating Crowe

2006-01-26T03:52:00.000-08:00

How much better would Elizabethtown have been if it'd just ended like this?

You know, except with better music.

Predictable

2006-01-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

Okay boys and girls, time for another Pop Culture Petri Dish challenge! As always, you're competing for The Official Pop Culture Petri Dish Gold Star, a modeling contract with top management company Ford Models and a photo spread in Elle Girl magazine shot by renowned fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon (just wanted to see if you were paying attention -- actually, you just get the Star).

In honor of tonight's very special "All-New NBC Music Event" honoring ~~Ray Charles~~Jamie Foxx, Jamie Foxx: Unpredictable, I want you to predict:

A) How many minutes into the show Jamie Foxx will first reference Ray Charles...

and

B) How many times Ray Charles is mentioned by name (this includes "Ray Charles," "Ray," "Charles," "Mr. Charles," "Brother Ray," "Ray Charles Robinson," "Ray Robinson" "Mr. Robinson" or anything similar).

Bonus: How many times will Jamie Foxx speak/sing as though he IS Ray Charles?

Post all predictions in the Comments section. I'll attempt to tabulate the results, if I can make it through the entire hour.

Of the Creek?

2006-01-25T00:54:00.000-08:00

Is Kellie Pickler of American Idol fame (Don't believe she's famous after one episode? Check out these fan sites!) from the fictional town of Capeside?

Like Jen Lindley, she lives with a grandparent, and like Joey Potter, she's a waitress without a mother whose father has been in and out of jail because of drugs, and she's into pageants. Also like Joey, girl can sing.

By all means, Kellie, stay away from Tom Cruise.

Acquiring Nemo

2006-01-19T13:36:00.001-08:00

Is it just me, or is this choice of file photo to accompany the headline "Disney Said in Talks to Purchase Pixar" some sort of subliminal commentary on the part of Yahoo! News:

I'll let you decide which character is supposed to represent Disney and which are supposed to represent Pixar

Memo to the Academy Award Hopefuls...

2006-01-11T03:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Heath Ledger and Rachel Weisz,

It may not be in your best interest to start condescending to Americans when you're aiming for Oscar nods.

Ledger:

I heard a while ago that West Virginia was going to ban it. But that's a state that was lynching people only 25 years ago, so that's to be expected.

Weisz:

He knows where Europe is, unlike a lot of Americans.

Mr. Ledger may want to check his facts (like the folks at Movie City News who discovered that "the last two reported lynchings occurred on Dec. 10, 1931"). And as for Ms. Weisz, we all saw National Lampoon's European Vacation. We know exactly where Europe is. This type of mouthing off may work if you're looking to settle for an AFI Award or a BAFTA Award, but here in the U.S. of A., the Academy only likes it when red-blooded Americans talk trash about our country:

P.S. And just because you're both reproducing with Americans doesn't make you Americans (I think you have to marry them).

Must See Conspiracy?

2006-01-06T04:42:00.000-08:00

Am I being paranoid or should we read something into the fact that the date "June 10" was mentioned prominently, back-to-back, on both My Name is Earl and The Office tonight (on the former, it was a date of birth, on the latter it was a wedding date)?

What do you have planned for June 10, NBC? Is it a good surprise or a run-for-cover surprise?

Multitasking

2006-01-06T04:33:00.000-08:00

Thanks Disney! Now I can avoid a John Travolta movie and a Tim Allen movie at the same time!

USA Yesterday

2006-01-05T14:06:00.000-08:00

Nice piece comparing Brokeback Mountain and King Kong, USA Today. So timely and original.

The Top Twenty Best Movies of 2004 Ever

2006-01-04T23:28:00.000-08:00

Here at The Pop Culture Petri Dish, we love top ten lists. So why didn't we post the obligatory year end top ten list of the best movies of 2004? Frankly, because we wanted to write in-depth analysis of each entry on the list but never got around to it. But as we get to work on our 2005 list (hopefully), we thought it only fair to let you see what we would've ranked as the top (and bottom) movies of 2004. These lists haven't been modified since February of 2005, though with the benefit of hindsight, some of the ordering would probably change. And now, a year late...

The Top Twenty Best Movies of 2004
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
2. The Terminal
3. Spider-Man 2
4. Closer
5. Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
6. Spanglish
7. Before Sunset
8. Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
9. Collateral
10. Kinsey
11. Kill Bill, Vol. 2
12. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
13. Million Dollar Baby
14. Sideways
15. The Aviator
16. A Very Long Engagement
17. Assassination of Richard Nixon
18. Dawn of the Dead
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
20. Shrek 2

And...

The Top Ten Worst Movies of 2004
1. She Hate Me
2. The Grudge
3. Van Helsing
4. The Forgotten
5. Troy
6. The Phantom of the Opera
7. Catwoman
8. Shark Tale
9. The Passion of the Christ
10. Meet the Fockers

The Producers

2006-01-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

I can look past the Producers Guild Awards' inclusion of the hacky Crash (Crap + Trash = Crash) over infinitely better films like Munich and King Kong. I can even look past their inclusion of Two and a Half Men and Desperate Housewives in the Television Series: Comedy category. But to nominate The Amazing Race 6 in the Non-Fiction category (when they also nominated the far superior Amazing Race 7) is just preposterous.

Lest you (and obviously the members of the Producers Guild) forget, The Amazing Race 6 is the season that gave us such screechingly dysfunctional couples as Freddy & Kendra, Adam & Rebecca, Hayden & Aaron and, the most dysfunctional of them all, Jonathan & Victoria! To paraphrase Annie Hall's opening joke, this was possibly the worst season of The Amazing Race ever (maybe even worse than the Family Edition), and only six of its thirteen episodes even aired in 2005! Come on Producers Guild, spread the love! What about Survivor: Palau, Showdog Moms & Dads, Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, Project Greenlight or Project Runway?

Oh, and Crash? Come on!